"Larry," exclaimed the teacher, "we both walk over the same school grounds, go up the same steps, walk the same halls and sit in the same rooms --
how do you always manage to get so dirty?"

"I guess it's because I'm a lot closer to the ground and floor than you are."



"Louie," asked the teacher, "we know George Washington was our first president; what else was he famous for in his earlier years?"

"He was the general of our continental army in the Revolution!" answered Louie.

"Very true." said the teacher, "Alice, can you think any famous event said to occur when George Washington was very young?"

"He chopped down his father's cherry tree with an axe," declared Alice.

"He not only chopped it down but also admitted it," noted the teacher, "and there is an important lesson here.
Now, Larry, can you tell us why his father didn't punish him?"

Li'l Larry blurted, "Because George Washington was still holding the axe!"



"Now, Larry, please be honest," requested the teacher, "do you say grace -- that is, do you pray -- before you eat?"

"I don't have to," announced Larry, "Mom is a real good cook."



"Larry," directed the teacher with a scowl, "Why is your paper about your home exactly the same as what your brother wrote last year.?"

In self-defense, Larry returned, "It's about the same home." 



"Larry, define the word 'you' by using the word 'you' to start a sentence."

"You is..." began Li'l Larry.

"No, Larry, the teacher corrected, "Never use 'is', always say 'you are'."

"OK" Li'l Larry complied, "You are single and also nobody special."



"Larry, what is a person called," the teacher asked, "who keeps on talking when listeners aren't interested?"

"A teacher."



After looking over Li'l Larry's paper, the teacher addressed him with a hand palmed over one side of the face,
"Larry, everyone here knows your parents are farmers. Why did you write that your mom supervises NASA and your dad is an astronaut?"

"Well," began Li'l Larry, "Mom told dad that the next time he tracked in foreign soil, she was sending him to the Moon."