A huge C-5 cargo plane was sitting near where a small plane was waiting to take off. When the private pilot noticed that the C-5 was closer to him than normal, he asked tower what the intentions of the C-5 was. Several seconds later, a voice came over the radio as the C-5's nose cargo doors opened, saying, "I'm going to eat you!"
Pilot: "Pilot to tower...I am 300 miles from land...600 feet over water...and running out of fuel...please instruct!"
ATC: "Tower to pilot...repeat after me: Our Father, which art in heaven... "
ATC: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
ATC: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
Pilot: "Uh tower we'll need 6L for departure."
ATC: "Ok - so you want the 9,000 foot runway instead of the 8,999 foot runway...?"
ATC: "N123YZ, say altitude."
N123YZ: "ALTITUDE!"
ATC: "N123YZ, say airspeed."
N123YZ: "AIRSPEED!"
ATC: "N123YZ, say cancel IFR."
N123YZ: "Thirty-five thousand feet, two hundred fifty knots indicated."
Now you add your own. Phew that was allot of typing
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