Simviation Forum - An Old New Air Service Revisited

Aug 23^rd, 2011 at 11:21pm

H Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

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Posts: 6837

Your Flight Manager, Sven Johansson, Lutheran Air

"Ya, you betcha!
Dis is da latest air service to sprout up in Minneysota --
Also serving Visconsin, Nort and Sout Dakota.

If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, da no-frills
airline. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, vhere flyin' is an
upliftin' experience, except vhen goin' down.

Meals are potluck: rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad;
16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors
please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Ve start lunch right about
noon and it's buffet style vit da coffee pot up front. Den ve'll
have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of
you. Don't take yurs vit you vhen you go or I am going to be
real upset and I am not kiddin'!

Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares
are by freevill offering and da plane vill not land 'til da budget
is met or da fuel is gone. Pay attention to yur flight attendant,
who vill acquaint you vit da safety system aboard dis plane,
Lutran Air 04141912.

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event
of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be
real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right
around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure vould
probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature,
and I vouldn't boddar vit doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.
You're gonna have bigger tings to vorry about den dat. Just
stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell
out because of turbulence vich, to be honest vit you, ve're
going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet.. sort a like
driving across a plowed field, but after a vhile you get used
to it.

In da event of a vater landing, I'd say to start saying da Lord's
Prayer. If you don't believe in God, you'll vish you did -- vhy did
you choose a Lutran service, anyway -- and just hope you get to da
part about forgive us our sins as ve forgive doze who sin against us,
vhich some people say "trespass against us," vhich isn't right, anyvay,
but vhat can you do?

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not
because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, vhich
is seat of da pants all da vay. No, it's because cell phones are
a pain in da vazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone,
He vould have put yur mout on da side of yur head.

Right now I'll say Grace. "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and
let deze gifts to us be blessed. By Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost,
may ve land in Dulut or pretty close. Amen!"

« Last Edit: Aug 24^th, 2011 at 9:55pm by H »

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Reply #1 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 1:07am

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

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Posts: 10589

Reminds me of Cajun Airlines. Grin

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #2 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 10:33am

Club508 Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

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Reply #3 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 1:15pm

hyperpep111 Offline
Colonel
You'll Never See Me Coming.
93 million miles from sun

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There go my vacation plans Grin

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #4 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 7:46pm

Groundbound1 Offline
Colonel
No, I don't work for Mythbusters...
Michigan, USA

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Posts: 1745

Funny ting is, dat here in Michigan, we have what are know as da "Yoopers" (i.e. from the Upper Peninsula, or U.P., ergo U.P.'er ) who actually talk like dat. Sad to say I had know trouble readin it!

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Reply #5 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 8:50pm

Club508 Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

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Posts: 1528

Groundbound1 wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 7:46pm:

Funny ting is, dat here in Michigan, we have what are know as da "Yoopers" (i.e. from the Upper Peninsula, or U.P., ergo U.P.'er ) who actually talk like dat. Sad to say I had know trouble readin it!

I'm much lower, and I've never encountered a Yooper, but I read it just fine.

Translation key:
w-v
da-the
yur-your
d-th
in'-ing
z-s

Occaisonal key
a-e
in-ing
a-of

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Reply #6 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 9:56pm

H Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

Gender:
Posts: 6837

What I'm wondering is if anyone Stateside has tried making a calendar date from the reg. number?

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Reply #7 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 10:12pm

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Gender:
Posts: 10589

H wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 9:56pm:

What I'm wondering is if anyone Stateside has tried making a calendar date from the reg. number?

The day before the ides, curious. Wink

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #8 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 10:29pm

H Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

Gender:
Posts: 6837

patchz wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 10:12pm:

The day before the ides, curious.

Not in April... just as my birthdate is on the ides of November, the 13th. Wink

We're still left with a sinking feeling.

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Reply #9 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 11:58pm

chris1101 Offline
Lieutenant Colonel
Cheese.

Posts: 5

I definitely lol'd at this. Being from the area (and flown a few times in it), I know just how true this is.

Have you ever seen a robot running around with a super soaker

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Reply #10 - Aug 25^th, 2011 at 5:03am

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Gender:
Posts: 10589

H wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 10:29pm:

patchz wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 10:12pm:

The day before the ides, curious.

Not in April... just as my birthdate is on the ides of November, the 13th. Wink

We're still left with a sinking feeling.

Ok, I ~~stand~~ sit corrected. I was under the impression that the ides was the 15th of every month. So I'll just change my statement to "The day after the ides, curious." Roll Eyes

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #11 - Aug 25^th, 2011 at 10:34am

H Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

Gender:
Posts: 6837

patchz wrote on Aug 25^th, 2011 at 5:03am:

Ok, I ~~stand~~ sit corrected. I was under the impression that the ides was the 15th of every month. So I'll just change my statement to "The day after the ides, curious."

The ides is on the 15th for only four of the months -- on the 13th for the rest.
However, it's amazing how often we can overlook something right in front of us... even if it's in titanic proportions.

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Reply #12 - Aug 25^th, 2011 at 3:00pm

1olehippy Offline
Colonel
I'll try it once for sure
Beautiful Colorado

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Posts: 178

Quote:

The ides is on the 15th for only four of the months -- on the 13th for the rest.
However, it's amazing how often we can overlook something right in front of us... even if it's in titanic proportions.

Bingo on dat one, tankyou bery much Wink

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