She very quietly confided to her best friend that she was having an affair.   
Her friend turned to her and asked, "Are you having it catered?"


An elderly lady was concerned that her body had gotten totally out of shape,
so she got her doctor's permission to start exercising and joined an aerobics class for seniors.
She bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down and perspired for an hour...
but the class was over by the time she got her leotards on.

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do...
and the eyesight to tell the difference.