Search the archive:
Simviation Main Site
|
Site Search
|
Upload Images
Simviation Forum
›
General
›
Humour
› Wife from hell
(Moderators: Mitch., Fly2e, ozzy72, beaky, Clipper, JBaymore, Bob70, BigTruck)
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
Pages: 1
Wife from hell (Read 500 times)
Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 4:35am
Romulus111VADT
Offline
Colonel
Gender:
Posts: 5521
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man
glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,
'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
(I love this part)
'Only when he's been drinking.!!'
"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."
Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”
Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #1 -
Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 5:27am
ShaneG
Offline
Colonel
I turned into a Martian!
Posts: 10000
Can you say, 'divorce'?
♪♫♪‼
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #2 -
Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 5:52am
JakesF14
Offline
Colonel
Blistering Barnacles!
South Africa
Gender:
Posts: 1866
Jay!!! Sounds like Bree from Desperate Housewifes (no I am not watching it, my wife does - and I am sitting in the TV room working on my pc, so I catch the story so now and then)
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #3 -
Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 6:23am
Fozzer
Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.
Posts: 24861
That's the sort of thing that comes free, with every Wife, Girlfriend, Female....
...trust me...
...!
Paul...
...
...!
...don't you just love their endless, high-pitched, musical, patronising, never-ending, chatter?...
...!
Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #4 -
Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 6:21pm
TacitBlue
Offline
Colonel
That's right, I have my
own logo.
Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA
Gender:
Posts: 5391
JakesF14 wrote
on Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 5:52am:
(no I am not watching it, my wife does - and I am sitting in the TV room working on my pc, so I catch the story so now and then)
Riiiiight...
A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y
Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #5 -
Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 7:25pm
Fozzer
Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.
Posts: 24861
TacitBlue wrote
on Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 6:21pm:
JakesF14 wrote
on Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 5:52am:
(no I am not watching it, my wife does - and I am sitting in the TV room working on my pc, so I catch the story so now and then)
Riiiiight...
The thought of being in the same room/house/country as someone avidly watching "Desperate Housewives" on the television, fills me with dread!
Paul.....
...
...
...!
Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #6 -
Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 7:41pm
a1
Offline
Colonel
Tied In A Knot I Am
Gender:
Posts: 8217
790i : QX9650 : 4Gb DDR3 : GeForce 8800 GTX : 1 WD Raptor : 1 WD VelociRaptor 150
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #7 -
Jun 25
th
, 2010 at 5:20am
JakesF14
Offline
Colonel
Blistering Barnacles!
South Africa
Gender:
Posts: 1866
Fozzer wrote
on Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 7:25pm:
TacitBlue wrote
on Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 6:21pm:
JakesF14 wrote
on Jun 24
th
, 2010 at 5:52am:
(no I am not watching it, my wife does - and I am sitting in the TV room working on my pc, so I catch the story so now and then)
Riiiiight...
The thought of being in the same room/house/country as someone avidly watching "Desperate Housewives" on the television, fills me with dread!
Paul.....
...
...
...!
Paul, I normally work on my model - then I dont even hear my wife yell at me...... so I switch off ALMOST completely!
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #8 -
Jun 26
th
, 2010 at 12:27pm
ozzy72
Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville
Gender:
Posts: 37122
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
Back to top
IP Logged
Pages: 1
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
« Home
‹ Board
Top of this page
Forum Jump »
Home
» 10 most recent Posts
» 10 most recent Topics
Current Flight Simulator Series
- Flight Simulator X
- FS 2004 - A Century of Flight
- Adding Aircraft Traffic (AI) & Gates
- Flight School
- Flightgear
- MS Flight
Graphic Gallery
- Simviation Screenshots Showcase
- Screenshot Contest
- Edited Screenshots
- Photos & Cameras
- Payware Screenshot Showcase
- Studio V Screenshot Workshop
- Video
- The Cage
Design Forums
- Aircraft & 3D Design
- Scenery & Panel Design
- Aircraft Repainting
- Designer Feedback
General
- General Discussion
- Humour ««
- Music, Arts & Entertainment
- Sport
Computer Hardware & Software Forum
- Hardware
- Tweaking & Overclocking
- Computer Games & Software
- HomeBuild Cockpits
Addons Most Wanted
- Aircraft Wanted
- Other Add-ons Wanted
Real World
- Real Aviation
- Specific Aircraft Types
- Autos
- History
On-line Interactive Flying
- Virtual Airlines Events & Messages
- Multiplayer
Simviation Site
- Simviation News & Info
- Suggestions for these forums
- Site Questions & Feedback
- Site Problems & Broken Links
Combat Flight Simulators
- Combat Flight Simulator 3
- Combat Flight Simulator 2
- Combat Flight Simulator
- CFS Development
- IL-2 Sturmovik
Other Websites
- Your Site
- Other Sites
Payware
- Payware
Old Flight Simulator Series
- FS 2002
- FS 2000
- Flight Simulator 98
Simviation Forum
» Powered by
YaBB 2.5 AE
!
YaBB Forum Software
© 2000-2010. All Rights Reserved.