Simviation Forum - Questions!

Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm

U4EA Ex Member

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME

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Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Babies?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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Reply #1 - Jun 11^th, 2010 at 11:35pm

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Gender:
Posts: 10589

There are some real jewels there.

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #2 - Jun 12^th, 2010 at 5:32am

Triple_7 Ex Member

Quote:

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going?

Taxes

Quote:

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Its a conspiracy with the bread industry to make more money Grin

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Reply #3 - Jun 12^th, 2010 at 3:42pm

H Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

Gender:
Posts: 6837

Just been informed these computers shut down in a few minutes so I can only answer a few of these for you:

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Can you cry under water?

Not usually when I'm on dry land and it isn't raining.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Who says they're important -- just in the right profession at the wrong time.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going?

Taxing.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Nah.. neither our clothes nor your body is accepted in heaven and theyll burn off in hell, anyway.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

To make you think it's a square meal in itself.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Hoof & mouth -- both were cut off before processing.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

How do you think we found out that rockets didn't work well for luggage?

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Reply #4 - Jun 12^th, 2010 at 4:31pm

TacitBlue Offline
Colonel
That's right, I have my
own logo.
Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

Gender:
Posts: 5391

Quote:

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

I always hated this one, it doesn't make any sense. I mean Uranus is outside the hemisphere too. Roll Eyes

H, I always like reading you're replies to these type of questions. The last two were great. Grin

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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Reply #5 - Jun 13^th, 2010 at 8:37pm

CHUCK79 Offline
Global Moderator
"Good grief"
KOMK

Gender:
Posts: 4998

They're all funny... and H, you didn't skip a beat,great replies Grin

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds.....and done a hundred things you have never dreamed of.....wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delerious, burning blue I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never Lark, nor even Eagle flew. While with silent lifting of mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of god"

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Reply #6 - Jun 14^th, 2010 at 5:47pm

H Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

Gender:
Posts: 6837

I'll try to answer a few more. However, soime of these seem to be quite personally directed...

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

In my case, that's about the way I sleep... except I try to keep the wetting part in the toilet.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

The judge does the 'hearing' and, often, the defendandant doesn't want to hear it, anyway.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

At this point in time, I've been in a recent move but not a movie and I'm a bit short on furniture; since I currently haven't cable nor antenna, the TV may as well be useful.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Have you tried climbing the things on the ground to see their tops. Which giant are you intending to ask to bend over?

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

They want to make sure they keep their composure during your visit and their laughter for later.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

You've given me one I'm unsure of -- one raises a couple of points but the other puts it full of holes

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

That's the old-fashioned 'dieter's' setting.

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

like I've said before, who cares?

U4EA wrote on Jun 11^th, 2010 at 10:42pm:

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

First, is this a multiple burial?

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