I've never been in this 'Joke Forum' before. But I'll give it a go. Trouble is, with so many jokes, you need the 'visual' and the 'expression'. But we'll try.

A bloke walks into the Dr's surgery and says. "Doc, I need help. Something is wrong. Every time I eat something, I s**t it out."

The Doc says, "What do you mean? That's perfectly natural! It's the way it's supposed to happen!"

The bloke says, "No Doc, you don't understand. If I eat an apple, and chew it up, half an hour later, I s**t this WHOLE apple! If I eat a ham sandwich and chew it all up, half an hour later, I s**t out a WHOLE ham sandwich (with the wrapping still on it)!"

The Doc doesn't belive him. So the bloke sits down and starts eating a banana. Sure enough, half an hour later, he downs his trou's, and s**ts out a WHOLE banana, still in the skin!!

The Doc says, "Gees, I see what you mean. That IS bizarre, isn't it? But I don't really know what to advise. I've never come across anything like this before."

The bloke PLEADS with him, "C'mon Doc, you're a professional, you must have some kind of idea. A suggestion or something!!"

The Doc ponders for a bit and finally says. "Have you tried eating s**t?"

How's it goin' Oz? Little one OK? Is she on Vege yet?