Dear Ma and Pa,

Am well.  Hope you are.  Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Army beats working for Old Man Minch a mile.  Tell them to join quick before maybe all the places are filled.  I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed late till 6 A.M. but am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things--no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.  Practically nothing.  You gotta shave, but its not bad in warm water.  Breakfast is strong on trimmin's like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee.  Their food and yours holds you till noon, when you get fed.

Its no wonder these city boys can't walk much.  We go on "route marches", which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us.  If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different.  A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.  Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat.  The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher.  He nags some.  The Capt. is like the school board.  Cols. and Gens. just ride around and frown.  They don't bother you none.

This next one will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.  I keep gettin' medals for shootin'.  I don't know why.  The bull's eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move, and it ain't shootin' at you like the Higgsett boys at home.  All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.  You don't even load your own cartridges.  They come in boxes.  Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellows get into this setup and come stampedin' in.

Your lovin son,

Zeb

P.S.  Speakin' of shootin', enclosed is $200 for barn roof and Ma's teeth.  The city boys shoot craps, but not very good.

Those R Some Definite Rednecks

VERY GOOD!

...very good.. ...!
...excellent... ... ... ..!
These are always good for a laugh..!

Paul...!