An able bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. 

Noting the pirates peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, “So how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies: “We was caught in a monster storm off of the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard.  Just as they were pulling me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of them bit my leg off.”

“Blimey” said the seaman, “what about the hook?”

“Ahh…” Mused the pirate “ We were boarding a trader ship, pistols blazing and swords aswinging, and in the fracas I got my hand chopped off!”

“Zounds” remarked the seaman, “And how come ye by the eye patch?”

“A seagull dropping fell into my eye.” Replied the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked I surprise.

“well” said the pirate, “it was my first day with the hook…”

And the sad thing is, this probably happened...

Silly boy