A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and
asked to  buy half a head of lettuce.
The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole
heads of lettuce.  The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about
the    matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he
turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this
gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.  Later the
manager found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here.  Where are you from, son?"  "Canada, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Canada," the manager asked.
  The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up
  there."  "Really!" said the manager.  "My wife is from Canada!"
  The boy replied,  "No shit???  Who did she play for?"

lol