It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of

golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who

fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back

to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."

After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred,

honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs

and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that

my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the

phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she

tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all

dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"

"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the

back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last

week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the

swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"

that's an old one