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Helping Your Dad (Read 1306 times)
May 8
th
, 2012 at 3:37pm
U4EA
Offline
Colonel
Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm
fwying.
KSTL
Gender:
Posts: 6758
A variation on an oldie but goodie.
An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me if you were here, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
I love the smell of radials in the morning!
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Reply #1 -
May 8
th
, 2012 at 3:50pm
Groundbound1
Offline
Colonel
No, I don't work for Mythbusters...
Michigan, USA
Gender:
Posts: 1745
Good one!
Specs: Asus Crosshair nForce 590 SLI,
AMD Athlon X2 6400+ w/ZeroTherm BTF90,
4GB G.Skill PI Series DDR2-800,
Sapphire HD4870 512MB,
PC P&C 750 Quad, in a CoolerMaster HAF932
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Reply #2 -
May 8
th
, 2012 at 8:27pm
Mike..
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Colonel
Beer is the answer, I
can't remember the question.
Fayetteville NC
Gender:
Posts: 1688
HA HA Nice one!
Mike
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Reply #3 -
May 9
th
, 2012 at 7:20am
Fozzer
Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.
Posts: 24861
I have always been expecting a visit...
...for exactly the same reason...
...!
Paul...
...
...
...!
Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.
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Reply #4 -
May 9
th
, 2012 at 2:35pm
Flying Trucker
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Colonel
An Old Retired Rocking
Chair Flying Geezer
Gender:
Posts: 11425
Cheers...Happy Landings...Doug
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Reply #5 -
May 10
th
, 2012 at 12:31pm
Bud Greene
Offline
Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...
Gender:
Posts: 480
Fozzer wrote
on May 9
th
, 2012 at 7:20am:
I have always been expecting a visit...
...for exactly the same reason...
...!
Paul...
...
...
...!
So THAT'S what happened to those Christmas carolers!
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Reply #6 -
May 10
th
, 2012 at 1:55pm
jetprop
Offline
Colonel
A freeware addict!
a chair infront of a monitor.
Posts: 1523
Fozzer wrote
on May 9
th
, 2012 at 7:20am:
I have always been expecting a visit...
...for exactly the same reason...
...!
Paul...
...
...
...!
I tought you kept them alive for their blood...
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Reply #7 -
May 10
th
, 2012 at 6:40pm
andy190
Offline
Colonel
This is the voice of the
Mysterons...
Havelock North, NZ
Gender:
Posts: 1368
jetprop wrote
on May 10
th
, 2012 at 1:55pm:
Fozzer wrote
on May 9
th
, 2012 at 7:20am:
I have always been expecting a visit...
...for exactly the same reason...
...!
Paul...
...
...
...!
I tought you kept them alive for their blood...
He only keeps the young ones apparently. So watch out Jetprop!
Intel Core i5-2310 CPU @ 2.90GHz, 6GB RAM, AMD Radeon HD 6450, Windows 7 Professional 64 bit, Logitech Extreme 3D Pro
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Reply #8 -
May 10
th
, 2012 at 7:38pm
Mike..
Offline
Colonel
Beer is the answer, I
can't remember the question.
Fayetteville NC
Gender:
Posts: 1688
jetprop wrote
on May 10
th
, 2012 at 1:55pm:
Fozzer wrote
on May 9
th
, 2012 at 7:20am:
I have always been expecting a visit...
...for exactly the same reason...
...!
Paul...
...
...
...!
I tought you kept them alive for their blood...
Ya...Me too...Especially after that virgins blood comment awhile back from a meal you were preparing.....Now for some reason I can't help but think of a vampire movie that was made back in the late 80s... I think it was a Cessna pilot....Night Flyer maybe was the name? Stephen King short story......I gotta go google it but i'm thinking now maybe Mr King wrote the movie about Fozz now
Mike.....Vampire fanatic..
AH HAAAA!!! I was right! Check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxfaOYisQw8
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Reply #9 -
May 11
th
, 2012 at 3:19am
jetprop
Offline
Colonel
A freeware addict!
a chair infront of a monitor.
Posts: 1523
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Reply #10 -
May 13
th
, 2012 at 12:39am
U4EA
Offline
Colonel
Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm
fwying.
KSTL
Gender:
Posts: 6758
I thought vampires do the change-into-a-bat thing, then travel to the next victim locale?
Now someone's sayin' they use Cessnas?
Ain't it kinda hard to get a Cessna through the window when goin' in for the neck strike?
I love the smell of radials in the morning!
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Reply #11 -
May 13
th
, 2012 at 7:07pm
Mike..
Offline
Colonel
Beer is the answer, I
can't remember the question.
Fayetteville NC
Gender:
Posts: 1688
U4EA wrote
on May 13
th
, 2012 at 12:39am:
I thought vampires do the change-into-a-bat thing, then travel to the next victim locale?
Now someone's sayin' they use Cessnas?
Ain't it kinda hard to get a Cessna through the window when goin' in for the neck strike?
Stephen King wrote it. But at the same time,after being around for a couple hundred years, learning to fly like a regular mortal wouldn't be a bad way to kill some time to learn a skill. The bat is cool to hunt for blood, but auto pilot and a cooler full of O positive is a nice way of getting from point A to B too....
Mike.....chasing the dark..
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Reply #12 -
May 15
th
, 2012 at 3:15pm
H
Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA
Gender:
Posts: 6837
U4EA wrote
on May 8
th
, 2012 at 3:37pm:
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Hmmn... well, he might have done a little better for his dad; if he could have arranged for each agent to partake of an Ex-Lax chocolate bar or two -- or something of equal merit -- a while prior to their digging engagement, the plot may have been well fertilized, too.
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Reply #13 -
May 16
th
, 2012 at 10:09am
Bud Greene
Offline
Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...
Gender:
Posts: 480
H wrote
on May 15
th
, 2012 at 3:15pm:
U4EA wrote
on May 8
th
, 2012 at 3:37pm:
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Hmmn... well, he might have done a little better for his dad; if he could have arranged for each agent to partake of an Ex-Lax chocolate bar or two -- or something of equal merit -- a while prior to their digging engagement, the plot may have been well fertilized, too.
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Reply #14 -
May 19
th
, 2012 at 12:55pm
H
Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA
Gender:
Posts: 6837
Bud Greene wrote
on May 16
th
, 2012 at 10:09am:
H wrote
on May 15
th
, 2012 at 3:15pm:
U4EA wrote
on May 8
th
, 2012 at 3:37pm:
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Hmmn... well, he might have done a little better for his dad; if he could have arranged for each agent to partake of an Ex-Lax chocolate bar or two -- or something of equal merit -- a while prior to their digging engagement, the plot may have been well fertilized, too.
Tell me you didn't immediately respond to my quip with a verbal, "Oh, sht!"
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Reply #15 -
May 31
st
, 2012 at 12:01pm
Bud Greene
Offline
Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...
Gender:
Posts: 480
H wrote
on May 19
th
, 2012 at 12:55pm:
Bud Greene wrote
on May 16
th
, 2012 at 10:09am:
H wrote
on May 15
th
, 2012 at 3:15pm:
U4EA wrote
on May 8
th
, 2012 at 3:37pm:
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Hmmn... well, he might have done a little better for his dad; if he could have arranged for each agent to partake of an Ex-Lax chocolate bar or two -- or something of equal merit -- a while prior to their digging engagement, the plot may have been well fertilized, too.
Tell me you didn't immediately respond to my quip with a verbal, "Oh, sht!"
You know I did, H!
If my lack of piloting skills are any judge those are the two most frequently consecutively spoken in my vocabulary.
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