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7 degrees of blonde (Read 558 times)
Oct 12th, 2011 at 1:25am
U4EA   Ex Member

 
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know; that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.

She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'


The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'


FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy . It's W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?


A: 'Is it mine?'


SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ..'

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,

'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman!'


 
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Reply #1 - Oct 12th, 2011 at 3:38am

Mitch.   Offline
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Reply #2 - Oct 12th, 2011 at 3:48am

Hagar   Offline
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U4EA wrote on Oct 12th, 2011 at 1:25am:
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ..'

Hmmm. I'm a white-haired old man & I had to look this one up. Tongue
 

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Reply #3 - Oct 12th, 2011 at 12:44pm

FoxThree   Offline
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Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
 
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Reply #4 - Oct 13th, 2011 at 12:08am

CHUCK79   Offline
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"Good grief"
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"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds.....and done a hundred things you have never dreamed of.....wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delerious, burning blue I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never Lark, nor even Eagle flew. While with silent lifting of mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of god"
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Reply #5 - Oct 13th, 2011 at 6:57pm

Steve M   Offline
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Cambridge On.

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Grin Grin Grin Please, don't give me the 3rd degree!
 

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Flying with twins is a lot of fun..
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Reply #6 - Oct 14th, 2011 at 4:33pm

Club508   Offline
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Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin


8th degree
well, let's just say none have yet to live long enough for us to know. Roll Eyes
 

...
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Reply #7 - Oct 15th, 2011 at 4:43am

hyperpep111   Offline
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Actually club, by my advanced maths and history skills, We're at the 557 1/2th degree Roll Eyes Cheesy
 

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.
                                    
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Reply #8 - Oct 15th, 2011 at 6:28pm

H   Offline
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2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
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hyperpep111 wrote on Oct 15th, 2011 at 4:43am:
Actually club, by my advanced maths and history skills, We're at the 557 1/2th degree.
I think you're overheating.



Cool
 
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Reply #9 - Oct 15th, 2011 at 10:13pm

Club508   Offline
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I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

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H wrote on Oct 15th, 2011 at 6:28pm:
hyperpep111 wrote on Oct 15th, 2011 at 4:43am:
Actually club, by my advanced maths and history skills, We're at the 557 1/2th degree.
I think you're overheating.

Cool

Depends.  Farinhiet, Celsius or Negatives? Cheesy
Or maybe some other measurement? Cheesy
And you can never forget the windchill when flying at Mach 1 in an open-cockpit F/A-18 Hornet! Cheesy
And trust me, at the rate I'm flying, there won't be much history or math of me left! Cheesy (or sanity for that matter)
 

...
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Reply #10 - Oct 15th, 2011 at 11:06pm

H   Offline
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2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
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Club508 wrote on Oct 15th, 2011 at 10:13pm:
And you can never forget the windchill when flying at Mach 1 in an open-cockpit F/A-18 Hornet! Cheesy
And trust me, at the rate I'm flying, there won't be much history or math of me left! Cheesy (or sanity for that matter)
Certainly not in the plane at mach 1 with the cockpit open; who let you in the cockpit in the first place!
  Shocked


Cool
 
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Reply #11 - Oct 16th, 2011 at 12:38pm

Club508   Offline
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I like repainting aircraft!
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H wrote on Oct 15th, 2011 at 11:06pm:
Club508 wrote on Oct 15th, 2011 at 10:13pm:
And you can never forget the windchill when flying at Mach 1 in an open-cockpit F/A-18 Hornet! Cheesy
And trust me, at the rate I'm flying, there won't be much history or math of me left! Cheesy (or sanity for that matter)
Certainly not in the plane at mach 1 with the cockpit open; who let you in the cockpit in the first place!
  Shocked


Cool

let's just sayn I let myself in.
And have amazingly lived to tell the tale. Cheesy
 

...
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