Simviation Forum - Good Advice

Aug 18^th, 2011 at 12:10pm

ozzy72 Offline
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There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

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Reply #1 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 12:34pm

Romulus111VADT Offline
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Going to put that where the cats ended up.... Wink

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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Reply #2 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 12:41pm

Club508 Offline
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Maybe I should do that sometime. Just without crashing. I can't wait to meet him without having to die! Grin

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Reply #3 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 2:23pm

ozzy72 Offline
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Club are you on some kind of medication we need to be aware of?

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Reply #4 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 2:27pm

Club508 Offline
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ozzy72 wrote on Aug 18^th, 2011 at 2:23pm:

Club are you on some kind of medication we need to be aware of?

Nope. Just trying to be humourous. And as usual, apparently failing. Undecided

Sometimes I wonder why I even post in the humour section. Undecided

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Reply #5 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:26pm

ozzy72 Offline
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Your humour is somewhat unique. Might I suggest a course of Monty Python, Blackadder, Fawlty Towers and Carry On. This should cover the British side of humour.
Then hit the Three Stooges, Whoppi Goldberg, any films by the Zucker brothers and Mel Brooks to really get American classic comedy. After that you'll be fine Wink

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Reply #6 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:29pm

Romulus111VADT Offline
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I'd add Benny Hill to the list of British comedians. He was a hoot..... Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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Reply #7 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:31pm

ozzy72 Offline
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Gosh I missed Benny, did Kenny Everett ever make it to your side of the Pond Rom?

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Reply #8 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:37pm

Romulus111VADT Offline
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ozzy72 wrote on Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:31pm:

Gosh I missed Benny, did Kenny Everett ever make it to your side of the Pond Rom?

Not that I've heard of; but I don't get out much anymore. Cry

This might be why - Kenny Everett (25 December 1944 – 4 April 1995) .... Undecided

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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Reply #9 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:38pm

Club508 Offline
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of all the ones you mentioned, the only one I've ever heard of are the three stooges, and all I now about them is that they were in something to do with I think a comedy show. thank goodness for google and youtube.

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Reply #10 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:42pm

ozzy72 Offline
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Check out some of his sketches on YouTube Rom, especially the Spiderman sketch, the DIY BeeGees kit and Sherman Tank Wink

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Reply #11 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 7:54pm

H Offline
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ozzy72 wrote on Aug 18^th, 2011 at 3:42pm:

Check out some of his sketches on YouTube Rom, especially the Spiderman sketch, the DIY BeeGees kit and Sherman Tank Wink

While Rom is doing that, Club508 should also check out YouTube, including Abbott and Costello -- then, maybe, he can tell us

who's on first.

Cool

« Last Edit: Aug 24^th, 2011 at 7:36pm by H »

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Reply #12 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 8:23pm

patchz Offline
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as well as Laurel & Hardy, Lucille Ball, Don Rickles, and Milton Berle.

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #13 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 8:46pm

TacitBlue Offline
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Okay, I know it isn't "classic" but after all of that, a small dose of Seinfeld wouldn't hurt in the learning of sarcasm and ridiculous situations. Wink

Edit:

And YES! Monty Python! At least watch Holy Grail! You will thank us. Wink

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Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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Reply #14 - Aug 18^th, 2011 at 9:56pm

Club508 Offline
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I think you all may be forgetting that I am pretty much a whole 1-2 generation(s) behind you guys. I have not heard or seen any of the things ANY of you have mentioned except for the name three stooges, and I haven't seen any of them. Tongue

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Reply #15 - Aug 19^th, 2011 at 12:05am

H Offline
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Club508 wrote on Aug 18^th, 2011 at 9:56pm:

I think you all may be forgetting that I am pretty much a whole 1-2 generation(s) behind you guys. I have not heard or seen any of the things ANY of you have mentioned except for the name three stooges, and I haven't seen any of them.

We're quite well aware of it. That's why we're giving you all of this lovely advice... some of which includes material that precedes us (including that YouTube link I provided you to click to).

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Reply #16 - Aug 19^th, 2011 at 1:53am

U4EA Ex Member

TacitBlue wrote on Aug 18^th, 2011 at 8:46pm:

And YES! Monty Python! At least watch Holy Grail! You will thank us. Wink

"They're only bunnies!" Cheesy

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Reply #17 - Aug 19^th, 2011 at 4:23am

ozzy72 Offline
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What does he do? Nibble your bum? Grin

I love the guardian of the cave Grin

Now if we made this giant badger....

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Reply #18 - Aug 19^th, 2011 at 11:15pm

U4EA Ex Member

Badgers! We don't need no steenking badgers! Tongue

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Reply #19 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 12:49am

Ang2dogs Offline
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I heard his sister got bitin by a moose!

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Reply #20 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 1:35am

hyperpep111 Offline
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Club508 wrote on Aug 18^th, 2011 at 9:56pm:

I think you all may be forgetting that I am pretty much a whole 1-2 generation(s) behind you guys. I have not heard or seen any of the things ANY of you have mentioned except for the name three stooges, and I haven't seen any of them. Tongue

Same. except I'm in a 3rd world country Sad

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #21 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 6:01am

ozzy72 Offline
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We are the knights who say Ni!

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Reply #22 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 10:31am

CHUCK79 Offline
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We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds.....and done a hundred things you have never dreamed of.....wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delerious, burning blue I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never Lark, nor even Eagle flew. While with silent lifting of mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of god"

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Reply #23 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 12:42pm

ozzy72 Offline
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What are you going to do? Bleed on me?

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Reply #24 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 3:19pm

CHUCK79 Offline
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'tis but a scratch!!!

Come back here an' claim what's comin' to ya......I'll bite your legs off!!!!
Grin

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds.....and done a hundred things you have never dreamed of.....wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delerious, burning blue I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never Lark, nor even Eagle flew. While with silent lifting of mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of god"

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Reply #25 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 7:35pm

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Thus thine enemies being naughty in thine sight might snuff it Grin

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Reply #26 - Aug 20^th, 2011 at 10:17pm

Ang2dogs Offline
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OH! Yeah! Well than I can become King!

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Reply #27 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 4:09am

ozzy72 Offline
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Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries Grin

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Reply #28 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 4:48am

patchz Offline
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What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

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ozzy72 wrote on Aug 21^st, 2011 at 4:09am:

your father smelt of elderberries Grin

And that's a bad thing??? I heard they make pretty good wine. Roll Eyes

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #29 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 9:40am

hyperpep111 Offline
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What are Patchz, Ozzy, U4EA, Chuck79 talking about? I have no clue. Huh

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #30 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 9:45am

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hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 21^st, 2011 at 9:40am:

What are Patchz, Ozzy, U4EA, Chuck79 talking about? I have no clue. Huh

All quotes from monty python and the holy grail, I believe. Grin

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Reply #31 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 2:34pm

ozzy72 Offline
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Yer not wrong Wink

Now we must eat Sir Robin's minstrels Grin

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Reply #32 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 3:29pm

Bud Greene Offline
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Anybody know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? European or African?
Cheesy

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Reply #33 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 3:55pm

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She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better.....

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Reply #34 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 4:19pm

Bud Greene Offline
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Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three...

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Reply #35 - Aug 21^st, 2011 at 5:57pm

patchz Offline
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IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

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Bud Greene wrote on Aug 21^st, 2011 at 3:29pm:

Anybody know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? European or African?
Cheesy

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #36 - Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 1:41am

hyperpep111 Offline
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I thought this was about good advice?

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #37 - Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 2:17am

Ang2dogs Offline
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Whataya mean ya don't want to marry her!? She's beautiful, she has HUGE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Tracts of land!

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Reply #38 - Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 2:24am

H Offline
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hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 1:41am:

I thought this was about good advice?

You weren't searching for the holy gruel?

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Reply #39 - Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 2:36am

hyperpep111 Offline
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H wrote on Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 2:24am:

hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 1:41am:

I thought this was about good advice?

You weren't searching for the holy gruel?

No. I wasen't Tongue

. Or was I? Lips Sealed

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #40 - Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 3:11pm

ozzy72 Offline
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What are you doing now?
Averting our eyes, oh Lord.
Well, don't. It's just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing. Now knock it off!

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Reply #41 - Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 3:29pm

hyperpep111 Offline
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It's very important to eat a balanced diet.

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #42 - Aug 22^nd, 2011 at 3:46pm

CHUCK79 Offline
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"Go and tell your master that we have been charged by god with a sacred quest..........if he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail!!"

"Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen.....uhh...he's already got one you see!"

I fart in your general direction!!!

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds.....and done a hundred things you have never dreamed of.....wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delerious, burning blue I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never Lark, nor even Eagle flew. While with silent lifting of mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of god"

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Reply #43 - Aug 23^rd, 2011 at 7:09am

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You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

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Reply #44 - Aug 23^rd, 2011 at 8:09am

hyperpep111 Offline
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ozzy72 wrote on Aug 23^rd, 2011 at 7:09am:

You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

How on mother Earth's hand in the medieval Britain are you supposed to reply to that Sad

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #45 - Aug 23^rd, 2011 at 9:17am

ozzy72 Offline
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Perhaps with;

All right, we'll call it a draw.
Come, Patsy.
[King Arthur and Patsy ride off]
Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

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Reply #46 - Aug 23^rd, 2011 at 2:04pm

hyperpep111 Offline
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ozzy72 wrote on Aug 23^rd, 2011 at 9:17am:

Perhaps with;

All right, we'll call it a draw.
Come, Patsy.
[King Arthur and Patsy ride off]
Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

...

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #47 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 12:43am

Ang2dogs Offline
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Bring out your dead!

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Reply #48 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 12:05pm

RaptorF22 Offline
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And the Lord spake, saying:

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Cheesy

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Reply #49 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 12:15pm

Club508 Offline
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RaptorF22 wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 12:05pm:

And the Lord spake, saying:

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Cheesy

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Reply #50 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 1:11pm

hyperpep111 Offline
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Ang2dogs wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 12:43am:

Bring out your dead!

Just when I thought I was getting the hang of it Grin

Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

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Reply #51 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 2:08pm

ozzy72 Offline
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Then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiiith a herring!

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Reply #52 - Aug 24^th, 2011 at 2:26pm

Bud Greene Offline
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Club508 wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 12:15pm:

RaptorF22 wrote on Aug 24^th, 2011 at 12:05pm:

And the Lord spake, saying:

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Cheesy

One... two... five!

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Reply #53 - Aug 25^th, 2011 at 12:06am

Ang2dogs Offline
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Look, strange women coming out of lakes,,,,,,,,,

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