Sir,
It is impossible for me to send you a check as you requested.
My present financial condition is somewhat fragile due to the effects of federal laws, state laws, county laws, corporation laws, by laws, brother-sister-father-mother-in-laws and outlaws that have been
foisted upon an unsuspecting public.
Through the various laws I have been held down, held up, walked on, sat on, flattened and squeezed until I don't know where I am, what I am, who I am, why I am or if I am.
These laws compel me to pay a merchants' tax, capital stock tax, real estate tax, property tax, auto tax, water tax, gas tax, light tax, cigarette tax, street tax, road tax, school tax, sales tax, occupation tax,
processing tax, gasoline tax, personal property tax, state income tax, state franchise tax, electricity tax, federal income tax, cotton tax, payroll tax, old age pension tax and capital gains tax.
I am suspected, inspected, disrespected, examined and reexamined until all I know is that I'm supplicated for money for every known need, desire or hope of the so-called human race.
And because I refuse to go out and beg, borrow or steal, I am cussed, discussed, boycotted, talked to, talked about, lied to, lied about, help up, held down, and robbed until I am plum ruined.
The only reason I am clinging to life is to see what the hell is coming next.
Yours truly,
John Q. Citizen
 If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.
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