A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their 
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.


The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell 
their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled
milk and pennies saved. Then, only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a 
Marine pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail 
out over enemy territory; all she had was a flask of whiskey, a 
pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down 
so the bottle wouldn't break, then her parachute landed her 
right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot most of them with
the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the 
knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with 
her bare hands.

"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy 
tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."