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Hell explained by chemistry student (Read 419 times)
May 17th, 2010 at 6:32pm

Theis   Offline
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
 

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Reply #1 - May 17th, 2010 at 7:04pm

Steve M   Offline
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Grin Grin Nice, Hell defined in an understandable manor!
 

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Reply #2 - May 17th, 2010 at 7:25pm

a1   Offline
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Reply #3 - May 18th, 2010 at 10:41pm

B-Valvs   Offline
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Excellent! I had to print this out and show some friends today.  Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

Cool
 

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Reply #4 - May 19th, 2010 at 3:23am

FridayChild   Offline
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It's actually an urban legend (the details are here, in case you're interested) but always funny anyway.  Smiley
 

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Reply #5 - May 19th, 2010 at 7:28am

ozzy72   Offline
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Reply #6 - May 19th, 2010 at 5:57pm

chris3090   Offline
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I HAVENT ACTUALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN WEEKS, that made my lmfao really. everyone in the house is still afriad and wondering if im ok Grin Grin Grin
 
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