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Hell explained by chemistry student (Read 419 times)
May 17
th
, 2010 at 6:32pm
Theis
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Bar by Mees
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Reply #1 -
May 17
th
, 2010 at 7:04pm
Steve M
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Cambridge On.
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Nice, Hell defined in an understandable manor!
Flying with twins is a lot of fun..
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Reply #2 -
May 17
th
, 2010 at 7:25pm
a1
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790i : QX9650 : 4Gb DDR3 : GeForce 8800 GTX : 1 WD Raptor : 1 WD VelociRaptor 150
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May 18
th
, 2010 at 10:41pm
B-Valvs
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Excellent! I had to print this out and show some friends today.
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Reply #4 -
May 19
th
, 2010 at 3:23am
FridayChild
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It's actually an urban legend (the
details are here
, in case you're interested) but always funny anyway.
Founder of A.A.A.A.A.A.A. (Aircraft Amateurs' Association Against Absurd Aviation Acronyms)
My system specifications:
FLIGHT SIMULATOR 2004 - AMD Athlon 64 3200+ CPU - 3 GB PC-3200 DDR400 dual channel RAM - 500 GB Seagate Barracuda 7200 rpm SATA-II hard disk - Sapphire Radeon HD 5750 1 GB PCI-E graphic card - Logitech Wingman Force 3D joystick + Logitech Formula Force pedals
My FS whereabouts:
low and slow, small single engine prop GA, Italy airfields.
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May 19
th
, 2010 at 7:28am
ozzy72
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Pretty scary huh?
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Brilliant
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #6 -
May 19
th
, 2010 at 5:57pm
chris3090
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I HAVENT ACTUALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN WEEKS, that made my lmfao really. everyone in the house is still afriad and wondering if im ok
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