-A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died.  After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. 

She says, 'What's the story?' 

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

                                     

-There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

                                    

-A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.' 

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. 

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you? 

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.' 

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

                                    

-A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'  'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

                                     

Badum-bump pcheesshh

I heard the first three (oldies but goodies), but the last one was new to me,

Wow these are insanely funny