Two old geezers, Bill and Bob were shooting the breeze. Bill sez, "You ever made a Freudian slip?" Bob sez, "What's that?" Bill: "Well, I'll give you an example. The other day I was at the airport, and the woman at the airline counter was quite well endowed. I meant to say, 'I'd like two tickets for Pittsburgh. But it came out, 'I'd like two pickets for Tittsburgh.'"

Bob: "Ahh, gotcha Bill. That happened to me this morning. My wife and I were having breakfast, and I meant to say, 'Dear, could you please pass the marmalade.' But it came out, 'You old hag, you're ruining my life.'