A little rude, dont look if you dont want to.


An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man lets out a loud fart and says "one-nil."

His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"

The old man says, "A goal. I'm ahead one-nil."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Goal! One all." The old boy farts again. "Goal! I'm ahead 2-1."

Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says, "Goal! 2 all."

The old man tries to fart again, but cannot. Trying desperately not be out done by his wife, he gives it everything he has to get out just one more fart. He strains a little too hard and shits in the bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides!"

oh yea..

reminds me of my time in london...

My dad asked a british police officer: What is the fart limit here?

and fart means speed in danish...

The officer looked weird at us, and walked away, shaking his head.

Heck, my wife holds the undisputed record for a mega fart. During this huge earth shaking fart. A helicopter flew near our home. She apparently didn't hear the helo. Because at damned near the precise second she ripped this huge fart. The windows shook and the floor vibrated and her eyes got big around as saucers. Her little face turned red as a beet. She's only 120 lbs and to think that such a little lady could let loose with that was incredible.

About that time I damned near hit the floor I was laughing so hard. 

Thank God for the totally unbelievable timing of that chopper! It sure did make for one hell of a hoot!

Quote:
The Danes' natural propulsion assist? 8)

You guys are so full of air! 

lmfao!