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› Nice payoff!
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Nice payoff! (Read 308 times)
Nov 9
th
, 2005 at 8:55pm
flyboy 28
Offline
Colonel
Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 13323
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Captain calmly replied..."In Vietnam."
No offense intended, Romulus.
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Reply #1 -
Nov 9
th
, 2005 at 11:26pm
Moach
Offline
Colonel
Jet-Powered PropellerHead
São Paulo, Brazil
Gender:
Posts: 991
LOL didn't see THAT coming
Come, one and all aboard! - The Russian Roullete in the sky!
One in each Six of my personalities knows not at all how to fly!
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Reply #2 -
Nov 9
th
, 2005 at 11:37pm
BFMF
Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest
Gender:
Posts: 19820
COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World
My Reality Check Bounced
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Reply #3 -
Nov 10
th
, 2005 at 12:53am
ozzy72
Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville
Gender:
Posts: 37122
An economically sound accident
There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!
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Reply #4 -
Nov 10
th
, 2005 at 2:23am
GeForce
Offline
Colonel
It keeps going and going!!
Wooohoooooo!!
London, United Kingdom
Gender:
Posts: 2616
LOL!!
&&
LiveScripts.NET
- Over 300 free Scripts and Extensive Scripting Tutorials&&AMD Athlon 64 3700+ @ 2.8Ghz | Asus A8N-SLi Premium | BFG Tech GeForce 7900GT 256mb @ 475/1360Mhz | 1Gb GeIL Ultra-X NF4 Edition | 160Gb WD SATA-3 HDD | Hiper Type-R 580W
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Reply #5 -
Nov 10
th
, 2005 at 8:30am
Romulus111VADT
Offline
Colonel
Gender:
Posts: 5521
Quote:
No offense intended, Romulus.
None taken....
Good joke.....
"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."
Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”
Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
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Reply #6 -
Nov 10
th
, 2005 at 5:06pm
Sytse
Offline
Colonel
Virtual Red Arrows
The Netherlands
Gender:
Posts: 3590
ouch...
&&
Virtual Red Arrows homepage
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Reply #7 -
Nov 10
th
, 2005 at 5:19pm
Jared
Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio
Gender:
Posts: 12621
poor fella
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Reply #8 -
Nov 11
th
, 2005 at 12:42am
H
Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA
Gender:
Posts: 6837
Well, he's not so poor, anymore!
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Reply #9 -
Nov 11
th
, 2005 at 3:04am
beefhole
Offline
Colonel
common' yigs!
Philadelphia
Gender:
Posts: 4466
great!
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Reply #10 -
Nov 11
th
, 2005 at 3:38am
H
Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA
Gender:
Posts: 6837
personally embarassing thought but...
You rarely have a gold mine without shaft.
I need to go hide
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Reply #11 -
Nov 11
th
, 2005 at 9:48am
Ramos.
Ex Member
wow, unexpected! and original!
nice one james!
ramos
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Reply #12 -
Nov 11
th
, 2005 at 11:00am
Woozy King
Ex Member
Forza Lazio!!
Gender:
Great one
&&
SS Lazio Website
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