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Nice payoff! (Read 308 times)
Nov 9th, 2005 at 8:55pm

flyboy 28   Offline
Colonel
Jacksonville, FL

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The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Captain calmly replied..."In Vietnam."

No offense intended, Romulus. Wink
 
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Reply #1 - Nov 9th, 2005 at 11:26pm

Moach   Offline
Colonel
Jet-Powered PropellerHead
São Paulo, Brazil

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LOL didn't see THAT coming Grin Grin Grin Grin
 

Come, one and all aboard!  -  The Russian Roullete in the sky!
One in each Six of my personalities knows not at all how to fly!
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Reply #2 - Nov 9th, 2005 at 11:37pm

BFMF   Offline
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Pacific Northwest

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Grin
 
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Reply #3 - Nov 10th, 2005 at 12:53am

ozzy72   Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

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An economically sound accident Grin
 

...
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Reply #4 - Nov 10th, 2005 at 2:23am

GeForce   Offline
Colonel
It keeps going and going!!
Wooohoooooo!!
London, United Kingdom

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LOL!! Grin
 

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Reply #5 - Nov 10th, 2005 at 8:30am

Romulus111VADT   Offline
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Quote:
No offense intended, Romulus. Wink


None taken.... Grin

Good joke..... Grin
 

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
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Reply #6 - Nov 10th, 2005 at 5:06pm

Sytse   Offline
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Virtual Red Arrows
The Netherlands

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ouch... Grin
 
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Reply #7 - Nov 10th, 2005 at 5:19pm

Jared   Offline
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I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio

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poor fella Sad Undecided
 
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Reply #8 - Nov 11th, 2005 at 12:42am

H   Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

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Well, he's not so poor, anymore! Roll Eyes
 
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Reply #9 - Nov 11th, 2005 at 3:04am

beefhole   Offline
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common' yigs!
Philadelphia

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great! Grin
 
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Reply #10 - Nov 11th, 2005 at 3:38am

H   Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

Gender: male
Posts: 6837
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Embarrassed
personally embarassing thought but...
You rarely have a gold mine without shaft. Lips Sealed
I need to go hide
Embarrassed
 
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Reply #11 - Nov 11th, 2005 at 9:48am
Ramos.   Ex Member

 
wow, unexpected! and original! Grin Grin Grin

nice one james!

Smileyramos
 
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Reply #12 - Nov 11th, 2005 at 11:00am

Woozy King   Ex Member
Forza Lazio!!

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Great one Grin
 
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