Simviation Forum - Blonde Bonanza

Sep 1^st, 2005 at 7:18am

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

Gender:
Posts: 5521

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the winter."
----------------

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out
of every four children born in the world was Chinese.
-----------

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $16,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not
shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun
in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened,
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to
make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the
trigger."
--------

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
-------

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and
all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and
still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll
up the windows first."
---------

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the
clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos it keeps some
things hot and some things cold" "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm
going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
"What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos. it keeps hot
things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you
have in it?" The blond replied, "Two Popsicles', and some coffee."
---------

Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #1 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 9:15am

TacitBlue Offline
Colonel
That's right, I have my
own logo.
Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

Gender:
Posts: 5391

LMAO! those are all great. Grin

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #2 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 10:00am

DJ_Zephyr Offline
Colonel
MiX iT uP!
New Port Richey, FL

Gender:
Posts: 219

Ya know, sadly, there are people in real life who ARE this stupid... Undecided

Good ones, the 3rd and last ones are the best!

AMD Athlon X2 4200+ dual-core- 2.2ghz per core
MSI GeForce 9400 GT- 550mhz core, 512mb VRAM
2gb DDR RAM, dual 17" monitors (one Acer panel, one KDS boat anchor)
Windows 7 Home Premium, DirectX 11, Realtek HD w/ Logitech X530 speaker set, Logitech G110 keyboard

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #3 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 10:03am

ThePianoMan Ex Member

LOL, Loved them all! First and last were my favorites! Grin

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #4 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 10:06am

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

Gender:
Posts: 5521

Quote:

Ya know, sadly, there are people in real life who ARE this stupid... Undecided

Good ones, the 3rd and last ones are the best!

You got that right and their not all blondes, my ex-wife makes the blondes in this joke look brilliant..... Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #5 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 10:41am

Woozy King Ex Member
Forza Lazio!!

Gender:

&&SS Lazio Website

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #6 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 12:03pm

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

Gender:
Posts: 37122

The third and fourth ones made me laugh so much I've just woken up the baby, so I've got to cook the dinner as penance. Cheers Romulus Wink

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #7 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 12:42pm

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

Gender:
Posts: 5521

Quote:

The third and fourth ones made me laugh so much I've just woken up the baby, so I've got to cook the dinner as penance. Cheers Romulus Wink

Sorry about that....lol....guess I should have posted a disclaimer.... Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #8 - Sep 1^st, 2005 at 2:55pm