Search the archive:
Simviation Main Site
|
Site Search
|
Upload Images
Simviation Forum
›
General
›
Humour
› If Operating systems were Airlines
(Moderators: Mitch., Fly2e, ozzy72, beaky, Clipper, JBaymore, Bob70, BigTruck)
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
Pages: 1
If Operating systems were Airlines (Read 236 times)
Aug 21
st
, 2005 at 10:21am
Ace_777
Offline
Colonel
England
Gender:
Posts: 740
I found this webpage by accident
Well enough of me heres the joke...
DOS Air: All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, and jump off when it hits the ground. Then they grab the plane again,push it back into the air, hop on, etc.
Mac Airways: The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
Windows Airlines: The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all very attractive, the pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it explodes without warning.
OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologizing profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field.
They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid-1995. Maybe longer.
Fly Windows NT: All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
Unix Express: all passenger bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools with them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, the passengers split into groups and build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.
AND FINALLY ...
Air Windows 95: You've heard about it and there are a few people who have actually flown on it, and they rave about it, but you hate them and secretly wish you could try it too. The company has been promising flights for a year but has yet to start selling tickets.
Intel Pentium 2.93 Ghz &&ATI Radeon X300 SE 128MB &&512 Mb Ram &&7 USB Ports &&Intel High Definition Audio &&9 in 1 Card Reader &&
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #1 -
Aug 21
st
, 2005 at 10:31am
Woozy King
Ex Member
Forza Lazio!!
Gender:
&&
SS Lazio Website
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #2 -
Aug 24
th
, 2005 at 10:29am
ctjoyce
Offline
Colonel
Funny how my lappy runs
FSX better than your
Tower
USA
Gender:
Posts: 4022
Ahh so true so true, except the Windows XP Airways. You would probibly get to the final when your doing something important when the plane explodes.
CTJoyce, Modding and voiding warranties since 2003&&
Sheila's Specs:
ASUS Striker Extreme 680i, Intel Core 2 Duo E6600 @ 3.2Ghz, Corsair XMS2 PC2-6400C4 2GB, 2x eVGA 7900GT KO, Western Digital 80GB SATA & 250GB SATAIII&&
Vesper's Specs:
Intel Core 2 Duo T7400, 2GB DDR2-667, GeForce Go 7950GTX 512MB, 160GB Hitachi SATA 5400RPM&&
Hardware FAQ, Read it and be informed
&&
My little corner of the world
&&
Once You Know You NEWEGG
&&
Building a computer
Part 2
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #3 -
Aug 24
th
, 2005 at 1:04pm
Saitek
Offline
Colonel
UK
Gender:
Posts: 7555
Too true!
Windows 7 Pro 64bit
Intel Core 2 Duo E2180 2GHz
GA-P35-DS3L Intel P35
Kingston HyperX 4GB (2x2) DDR2 6400C4 800Mhz
GeForce 8800 GT 512MB
2 x 22" monitors
200GB Sata
Be Quiet! Straight Power 650W
Flying FSX with Saitek's pro flight range:
Radio
Switch panel
Auto-pilot
Yoke and throttle quad
Pedals
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #4 -
Aug 25
th
, 2005 at 2:29pm
ThePianoMan
Ex Member
I like Windows Airlines...
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #5 -
Aug 25
th
, 2005 at 5:31pm
Woozy King
Ex Member
Forza Lazio!!
Gender:
Quote:
Fly Windows NT: All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
This is hilarious
&&
SS Lazio Website
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #6 -
Aug 26
th
, 2005 at 1:30am
Wing Nut
Offline
Colonel
Hoy-Hoy!
Gender:
Posts: 14173
What about Win98 Airways?
HP p7-1300w
AMD Athlon II X4 650 Quad-core 3.2 Ghz
23" HP Widescreen monitor/19" Dell monitor
Windows 7 Home Premium
16 Gb DDR3 PC10600 Ram
1 Gb GeForce GTX 550Ti video card
1 TB RAID Drives
If you want to see the most beautiful girl in the world, CLICK HERE!
Back to top
IP Logged
Pages: 1
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
« Home
‹ Board
Top of this page
Forum Jump »
Home
» 10 most recent Posts
» 10 most recent Topics
Current Flight Simulator Series
- Flight Simulator X
- FS 2004 - A Century of Flight
- Adding Aircraft Traffic (AI) & Gates
- Flight School
- Flightgear
- MS Flight
Graphic Gallery
- Simviation Screenshots Showcase
- Screenshot Contest
- Edited Screenshots
- Photos & Cameras
- Payware Screenshot Showcase
- Studio V Screenshot Workshop
- Video
- The Cage
Design Forums
- Aircraft & 3D Design
- Scenery & Panel Design
- Aircraft Repainting
- Designer Feedback
General
- General Discussion
- Humour ««
- Music, Arts & Entertainment
- Sport
Computer Hardware & Software Forum
- Hardware
- Tweaking & Overclocking
- Computer Games & Software
- HomeBuild Cockpits
Addons Most Wanted
- Aircraft Wanted
- Other Add-ons Wanted
Real World
- Real Aviation
- Specific Aircraft Types
- Autos
- History
On-line Interactive Flying
- Virtual Airlines Events & Messages
- Multiplayer
Simviation Site
- Simviation News & Info
- Suggestions for these forums
- Site Questions & Feedback
- Site Problems & Broken Links
Combat Flight Simulators
- Combat Flight Simulator 3
- Combat Flight Simulator 2
- Combat Flight Simulator
- CFS Development
- IL-2 Sturmovik
Other Websites
- Your Site
- Other Sites
Payware
- Payware
Old Flight Simulator Series
- FS 2002
- FS 2000
- Flight Simulator 98
Simviation Forum
» Powered by
YaBB 2.5 AE
!
YaBB Forum Software
© 2000-2010. All Rights Reserved.