Search the archive:
Simviation Main Site
|
Site Search
|
Upload Images
Simviation Forum
›
General
›
Humour
› the ant
(Moderators: Mitch., Fly2e, ozzy72, beaky, Clipper, JBaymore, Bob70, BigTruck)
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
Pages: 1
the ant (Read 310 times)
Aug 15
th
, 2005 at 1:30pm
spirit1flyer
Offline
Colonel
you are go for T.L.I.
Copy that....
Posts: 175
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. "America" is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association for the Advancement of Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "green bias", and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism.
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's".
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration infront of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing "We Shall Overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursdays between 1:30 and 3:00 PM when there are no talk shows scheduled.
The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
Red alert!!&& Red alert!!&&
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #1 -
Aug 15
th
, 2005 at 2:41pm
Theis
Offline
Colonel
Always somewhere, sometime..
Rødovre, Denmark
Gender:
Posts: 6116
Bar by Mees
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #2 -
Aug 15
th
, 2005 at 2:59pm
Woozy King
Ex Member
Forza Lazio!!
Gender:
8)
&&
SS Lazio Website
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #3 -
Aug 15
th
, 2005 at 3:01pm
ThePianoMan
Ex Member
Wow, is it just me, or did I feel like I just wasted my time on that one? lol
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #4 -
Aug 16
th
, 2005 at 12:36am
the_autopilot
Offline
Colonel
Gender:
Posts: 1359
The moral of this story is:
Always have a good lawyer.
Now you see if the ant had a good lawyer, he could have won the case and countersued the grasshopper for malicious prosecution.
Link to sig:&&
Click here
&&(Cannot post signature here due to current forum restrications on linked images).
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #5 -
Aug 16
th
, 2005 at 7:53am
beefhole
Offline
Colonel
common' yigs!
Philadelphia
Gender:
Posts: 4466
lolzors
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #6 -
Aug 16
th
, 2005 at 3:00pm
Sytse
Offline
Colonel
Virtual Red Arrows
The Netherlands
Gender:
Posts: 3590
REading this doesn't make me laugh... it makes me sad
&&
Virtual Red Arrows homepage
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #7 -
Aug 16
th
, 2005 at 5:48pm
Katahu
Offline
Colonel
Gender:
Posts: 6920
It's sad because it's true.
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #8 -
Aug 25
th
, 2005 at 5:14pm
G-force237
Offline
Colonel
America Remembers
email: ttarlton@cyberonic.com
Posts: 378
umm... not entirely...
No doubt it is funny, but it is not all true. I think we all know this is aimed toward the difference in lifestyles between blacks and whites, and their attempts to gain social and economical equality. Though it has some parallels, the joke in its entirety is far from true...
for one the green bug did nothing while the ant worked his butt off, though some might think this is true, in reality, the green bug worked HIS a$$ of and the ant took all his money.
All in all, it is not wrong to laugh and get amusement from the joke, but to believe that cynical view toward the advancement of the lifestyles of minorities is ignorant.
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #9 -
Aug 25
th
, 2005 at 9:05pm
spirit1flyer
Offline
Colonel
you are go for T.L.I.
Copy that....
Posts: 175
and I just posted it as a joke
Red alert!!&& Red alert!!&&
Back to top
IP Logged
Reply #10 -
Aug 26
th
, 2005 at 1:24am
Wing Nut
Offline
Colonel
Hoy-Hoy!
Gender:
Posts: 14173
HP p7-1300w
AMD Athlon II X4 650 Quad-core 3.2 Ghz
23" HP Widescreen monitor/19" Dell monitor
Windows 7 Home Premium
16 Gb DDR3 PC10600 Ram
1 Gb GeForce GTX 550Ti video card
1 TB RAID Drives
If you want to see the most beautiful girl in the world, CLICK HERE!
Back to top
IP Logged
Pages: 1
‹
Previous Topic
|
Next Topic
›
« Home
‹ Board
Top of this page
Forum Jump »
Home
» 10 most recent Posts
» 10 most recent Topics
Current Flight Simulator Series
- Flight Simulator X
- FS 2004 - A Century of Flight
- Adding Aircraft Traffic (AI) & Gates
- Flight School
- Flightgear
- MS Flight
Graphic Gallery
- Simviation Screenshots Showcase
- Screenshot Contest
- Edited Screenshots
- Photos & Cameras
- Payware Screenshot Showcase
- Studio V Screenshot Workshop
- Video
- The Cage
Design Forums
- Aircraft & 3D Design
- Scenery & Panel Design
- Aircraft Repainting
- Designer Feedback
General
- General Discussion
- Humour ««
- Music, Arts & Entertainment
- Sport
Computer Hardware & Software Forum
- Hardware
- Tweaking & Overclocking
- Computer Games & Software
- HomeBuild Cockpits
Addons Most Wanted
- Aircraft Wanted
- Other Add-ons Wanted
Real World
- Real Aviation
- Specific Aircraft Types
- Autos
- History
On-line Interactive Flying
- Virtual Airlines Events & Messages
- Multiplayer
Simviation Site
- Simviation News & Info
- Suggestions for these forums
- Site Questions & Feedback
- Site Problems & Broken Links
Combat Flight Simulators
- Combat Flight Simulator 3
- Combat Flight Simulator 2
- Combat Flight Simulator
- CFS Development
- IL-2 Sturmovik
Other Websites
- Your Site
- Other Sites
Payware
- Payware
Old Flight Simulator Series
- FS 2002
- FS 2000
- Flight Simulator 98
Simviation Forum
» Powered by
YaBB 2.5 AE
!
YaBB Forum Software
© 2000-2010. All Rights Reserved.