There you go Doug.

Over here we get lots of deer in the vineyard. One of my friends had an unfortunate encounter with a wild boar which left him with a broken leg.
With the flat the only visitors we get are ruddy pigeons. I've just remembered to get the air pistol out of the cupboard! I HATE flying rats

Doug, a small bb gun might work. They dont have enough power to kill it, and they use small plastic pellets as ammo these days so it wont even do any damage. It should be enough of a sting that it gets it to leave and after a few encounters it should learn to stay away. the other thing is automatic lights, with the sensor, i dont know if you already have one but we found this to work in getting rid of hedgehogs that we used to get in the garden. Not that we had a problem with them, but our dog loves to play with animals but he tended to bark at them and scare them silly so it was better to have them run off.

Thanks for the suggestions chaps. It sits & pulls faces at me but I don't think it will stay still long enough for me to hit it with a BB gun. I don't like the idea of flooding my garden with DERV so that leaves the electronic route. I've been thinking of trying one of those ultrasound gizmos so this has made up my mind. I'll get one ASAP & report back later.

Amazing the things you can get help on here.

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Thanks Mark but I've heard of people burning their houses down doing things like that, especially if the back garden is flooded with DERV. Way too risky. I'd rather leave the bloomin' fox alone.

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I have enough problems with the bloomin' fox. I don't want hounds or any more 4-legged critters. I'm tryin' to get rid of 'em not start a menagerie.

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Not sure rabbits are too worried about cats. Maybe you'd better get tooled up just in case. Order an air strike by some of your mates. This is getting serious.

PS. That AAC lieutenant (if he's still a lieutenant) could come & hurl pizzas at it.

Llamas now is it? Have you seen the size of them things? Not very good-tempered either. They like spitting at you when you least expect it. That's not very nice. While I'm about it why don't I get an elephant & done with? They could all become jolly good friends & live happily ever afterwards with the fox & its complete family in my back garden while poor Hagar is forced out of his beloved home for keeping an illegal zoo.

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I say make the bugger a General... (at least then he'd be on a par with an RAF Squadron Leader...)

Charlie

(no offence to any Army types, and I'm sure you've all heard the one about the RAF Flt Sgt and the Army Major... )

A pet tiger?

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That's more like it. Mind you I couldn't afford to feed it & it might eat me when it got hungry. Then there's all that tiger poop to clear up. Not such a good idea methinks.

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But all that digging

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Not fully clothed the things that man does to make a few quid. i'm sure if you ask him nicely he will provide you with a nice copy though.

I suppose it could be considered cruel and unusual punishment under international law? and cruelty to animals according to the RSPCA.

Doug just watch some episodes of Road Runner, I'm sure you'll find some inspiration

Hmmm. As I remember that fox or coyote whatever it is keeps getting blown up on a regular basis. Then he reappears as large as life the following week. This ACME outfit doesn't fill me with confidence somehow.

On a serious note, they have some quite good hardware too - a few weeks back they had some decent looking 20" monitors for about £85...

Ah well. That was fun while it lasted. I enjoyed if nobody else did but I'm exhausted with all that laughing & trying to keep up with you lot. I'll let you know what happens with this darned fox. Maybe we can get back on topic now. That's if I can figure out what the topic was. ???

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Do you have anywhere to keep them? I'm a tad short of space with all these blasted animals all over the place.

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We've got a little museum at work (couple of Phantoms, JP, Hunter)...

I reckon that fox is watching you now Doug, being cunning and all that....

Going over some of my insect books.

If I read this correctly, the Queen is in fact at the bottom of the nest.  You might want to cover the nest in shade as much as possible, to reduce the sunlight, thus temperature, of the entire nest.  Not too much else to be had, as most of these books were made to inform about insects, not how to eradicate them in a glorious display of genocide.

LOL yes now wheres the local zoo. I always use boiling water from the kettle on ants nests, it seems to work and if you do it a couple of times it should clear em out,

Quicklime for the ants Doug. 

To avoid 1 fox and associated problems Doug's garden would now contain (if he followed advice from Sim V:

2 Fox Hounds
1 Llama
1 Tiger
1 Aardvark
1 Lifesize cut out of the Fozzer (naked)
1 Harrier
Several landmines

This will deal with the "infestation of fox" by ensuring that it cannot fit in the garden if nothing else.

Sorry mate, I feel somewhat responsible.

Will

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You know, i dont know why but i cant help but laugh every time i read that list:).

if you can fit an elephant and a Llama into your garden you can set up your own petting zoo. Make yourself a few quid from it:).  If you can set the landmines in the front yard that'll stop any unwanted visitors, like the bill bringing postman, or those hooligan kids:) give family and friends a map to where you placed the mines of course

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I had considered that Eno but I don't think it would do my lawn much good. With that darned vixen peeing all over the shop it's not exactly in prime condition now. That's what started all this in the first place. 

Nerve gas might do it. I think the best way out of this is for me to move out & let all these animals have the run of the place. I can take up residence in a nice little studio flat somewhere with no garden to worry about. That will fix the blighters. 8) Only problem with that is all those sh1tehawks around here that think they own the territory & enjoy terrorising the tourists. More like something out of a Hitchcock film - or maybe it was Benny Hill.

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- or something like that.

PS. In case you haven't heard it.
My Little Friend by Benny Hill. http://www.monologues.co.uk/My_Little_Friend.htm

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Sums me up perfectly. Have you only just realised that? 8)

Now you can see the problems my neighbours have. I feel quite sorry for 'em. 8)

PS. I don't really.

They never quite figured me out. Are you surprised? 8)

Well, I do my best. I keep tellin' 'em I'm the one that's normal but I have a sneakin' feeling they don't believe me. My concience is clear. What more can I do? 8)

I don't like to do that. I have all these animals in my back garden to think about. The noise of them landmines going off at all hours would probably startle them & that would never do.

Well after all that it might be a good idea to get this thread back on topic. That's if I can figure out what the topic was in the first place. Will seems to have posted it for me & left me to it. I find the subject line confusing as it's open to several different interpretations I never was too sure what it actually means. ???

The Famous Small Garden Animals of History Debate
Now does that mean a debate about famous small garden animals of history or a famous debate about aforesaid historical animals? I must confess to being a tad confused as I can't think of any famous historical garden animals offhand. Are these supposed to be real -life historical animals or famous garden animals of a fictional nature? I was thinking more along the lines of Mr. Toad, Ratty & Mole but I'm not too sure they would be classed as garden animals. Then there's Winnie the Pooh & Yogi Bear but I think the same applies to them. I'm sure you can see my predicament here.

Will, if you're out there I could do with some help.

Ah. Welcome back Will.

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I obviously got the wrong end of the stick, as usual. I suppose that my fox could be classed as quite famous now as a lot more people know about it since reading this thread. Whether it's historical or not I have no way of knowing as I never thought to ask how old it is.

Yes Doug go out and pee in your back yard, that'll take you back a few years i bet Then watch as your neighbours really do have you carted off by the crazy squad
Great suggestion Town

I thought you wanted to get rid of the fox because of pee, is more pee really the answer?