Dear Tech Support:

   Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
   that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
   lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
   itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
   activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting
   and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system
   whenever selected.

   I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
   my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
   7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on ! Wife 1.0. Please help!

   Thanks,
   A Troubled User.
    (KEEP READING)
   ______________________________________

   REPLY:
   Dear Troubled User:

   This is a very common problem that men complain about.

   Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
   is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
   SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
   impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
   impossible! to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
   once installed.

   You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
   not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under   Warnings-Alimony-
   Child Support.     I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on
   improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
   application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

   The best course of action is to enter the commandC:\APOLOGIZE because
   ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
   system will return to normal anyway.

   Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
     Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
   3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
   However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
   cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.    Once this
   happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
   purchase additional software.    I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
   5.0!

   WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
   Short Skirt 3.3.    This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and
   will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

   Best of luck,
   Tech Support
   tgoing mail is ion: 6.0.732 / Virus Database: 486 - Release Date:
   7/31/2004(See attached file: Blank Bkgrd.gif)



My friend sent me this and I was on the floor rolling!!!
Dave

héhéhéhéhé... I am still using Girlfriend 7.0... works fine for me!      And she runs Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.  without a problem. I must have an overclocked one... 

Careful Brute, girlfriend 3.7 is prone to both the Tantram and Inexplicable_Crying viruses

I'm currently running the latest rev. of  LonelyGuy,and it's been trouble-free for some time, but I've noticed my joystick is no longer responding as it should...May be time to install Future Ex-Girlfriend 5.1, or maybe Sleazy One-Nighter (the Pro edition, perhaps?).

whatever you do, dont download prostitute 1.0, or any of the later versions, they are riddled with "viruses"

Yeah me too, currently running LonelyGuy, but accasionaly i am getting popups from Ex-Girlfriend 5.1, probably it installed some spyware on my system, i tried installing DoNotCallMe_ANYMORE 3.1, and it helped.  Tried OneNighter a couple of times but didnt like it, cause it also might have viruses.  Scanned my system with Doctor 1.0, and luckly i didnt have any.  I am thinking about switching to GirlFriend 1.0 but i am afraight it migh conflict with PokerNight 7.0.
So i am not sure what i should do.

Better check if your processor is big enough to run sleezy girlfriend 4.3 smoothly

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LOL!!   And don't bother calling Tech Support: their dating habits are very different in India...