Simviation Forum - Twas The Night After Christmas

	Search the archive:

Simviation Main Site | Site Search | Upload Images

Simviation Forum › General › Humour › Twas The Night After Christmas

(Moderators: Mitch., Fly2e, ozzy72, beaky, Clipper, JBaymore, Bob70, BigTruck)

‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›

Pages: 1

Twas The Night After Christmas (Read 155 times)

Dec 21^st, 2004 at 7:33am

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

Gender:
Posts: 5521

Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,
The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler,
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys,
I was camped out on my old La-Z-Boy,

The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives,
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
So I watched TV and my wife, she just cried

When out in the yard the dog started barkin'
I stood up and looked and saw Sheriff Larkin
He yelled, "Roy I amd sworn to uphold the laws
And I got a complaint from a feller named Clause."

I said, "Clause, I don't know nobody named Clause,
And you ain't takin me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might've been me, just whats he look like?

The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly
That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly
He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "That sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."

"It's no time for jokes Roy," the Sheriff he said,
"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean,
Tell me what you done, and tell me what you seen."

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell
It wouldn't be the first time I spent New Years in jail.
I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten,
I thought that my wife had been drinking again."

When she walked in from works she was white as a ghost
I thought maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head
And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red,

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shutter,
A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.
Well, my hands were a shaking as I grabbed my gun,
When outta Red's chimney this feller did run

And slung on his back was this bag overflowin'
I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin'
So I yelled, "Drop it fat boy, hands in the air."
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care

So I popped off a warning shot over his head,
Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled,
And as he flew off i heard him extort,
"Thats assault with intent Roy, I'll see you in court."Ill tell you what sheriff if you put a subnet
on me I wont show up ill hold up in the cellar
and you'll never rout me outta there
so why don't you just
turn car off come
in well watch wrestling eat some
Easter bunny stew and talk about howta catch that tooth fairy
she's been over here about every other night.

By: Jeff Foxworthy

Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

IP Logged

Reply #1 - Dec 21^st, 2004 at 7:51am

Craig. Offline
Colonel
Birmingham

Gender:
Posts: 18590

LOL

IP Logged

Reply #2 - Dec 21^st, 2004 at 9:10pm

Jared Offline
Colonel
I'd rather be flying...
Uniontown, Ohio

Gender:
Posts: 12621

Sweet!

I love it! Wink

IP Logged

Reply #3 - Dec 22^nd, 2004 at 4:24pm

Squeek Offline
Colonel
Legacy the poor mans Learjet
United States of America

Gender:
Posts: 820

that is funny, im gona go show it to my cadets tonight

A poet, A virtual Pilot, and a member of Civil Air Patrol. Now if only.....&&&&Current ride, a 1972 Honda CT70 with a 3-speed transmition w/ and automatic clutch. So far i've gotten it to do 40mph.

IP Logged

Pages: 1

‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›

« Home

‹ Board

Top of this page