Simviation Forum - And you thought Dogs were dumb!

Dec 16^th, 2004 at 3:32am

Deputy Offline
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Hillsboro, Oregon

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1. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message to get back to you.
2. Dogs let you give them a bath and love you anyway. Cats take out a contract on your life.
3. Dogs bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats sneak out the back door.
4. Dogs bring you your slippers and the newspaper. Cats bring you a dead mouse.
5. Dogs play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats take a three-hour nap.
6. Dogs sit on the car seat next to you. Cats require a private box to go at all.
7. Dogs greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats are mad that you went.
8. Dogs sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats smirk and walk away.
9. Dogs tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats yawn and close their eyes.
10. Dogs give you total love forever. Cats make you pay for every mistake you've ever made.

"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."
-- Alfred North Whitehead

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Reply #1 - Dec 16^th, 2004 at 3:11pm

Squeek Offline
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Quote:

"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."
-- Alfred North Whitehead

i couldnt agree more. Especally with that part!

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Reply #2 - Dec 16^th, 2004 at 7:16pm

Jared Offline
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Uniontown, Ohio

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hmm...

seems to me all of those points lead me to the conclusion that cats could be considered management?

lol, just my take of it.. Wink

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Reply #3 - Dec 17^th, 2004 at 3:27am

Skittles Offline
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N769JC: "Isn't simulating
stimulating?
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I heard one thing about why cats are always trying to get ahead of their owners when going down stairs.

It's in the hopes that the owner will trip over them, fall down the stairs and die. That way the cat is rid of it's human captor.

My cat does this all the time.

What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
They both will work perfectly, until you open windows.

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Reply #4 - Dec 17^th, 2004 at 3:45am

forfun Offline
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I know some people might take offence at this but i don't care. I HATE cats, this is a great thread.

The thing is, cats do their own thing, instead of being with you, they pi*s off all day till the food is ready.
My neighbours have a little cat called OSCAR. If i wasn't so bloody clumsy i woulda caught the b**tard and sent him away.

He constantly comes into my backyard!, one time there was a rug outside drying and i went outside to bring it back inside, and what had the cat done, it peed on the bloody thing. In fact, thats not the only thing it's peed on. Hammocks, matresses, sheets, washing.

It's a bloody nightmare.

So, i'm sitting here typing with the smell of cat pee filling my nose and i wonder how on earth someone could even touch those pests.

Quote:

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

One of the greatest quotes in the world today

Now if something goes without saying, then why do people say it??&&&&http://www.homepages.mcb.net/bones/04fs/MP/9320.jpg

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Reply #5 - Dec 17^th, 2004 at 9:07am

Woodlouse2002 Offline
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I like jam.
Cornwall, England

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Quote:

I heard one thing about why cats are always trying to get ahead of their owners when going down stairs.

It's in the hopes that the owner will trip over them, fall down the stairs and die. That way the cat is rid of it's human captor.

My cat does this all the time.

It's not trying to be rid of it's human captor. It's trying to get rid of that bloody human that has the nerve to live in it's house. If anything the cat's your captor.

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Reply #6 - Dec 17^th, 2004 at 8:26pm

Skittles Offline
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N769JC: "Isn't simulating
stimulating?
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Quote:

In fact, thats not the only thing it's peed on. Hammocks, matresses, sheets, washing.

It's a bloody nightmare.

So, i'm sitting here typing with the smell of cat pee filling my nose and i wonder how on earth someone could even touch those pests.

To prevent that problem, I had my cat's nuts cut. And I'm not recommending you do that with your neighbors cat.

Quote:

It's not trying to be rid of it's human captor. It's trying to get rid of that bloody human that has the nerve to live in it's house. If anything the cat's your captor.

You're absolutely right, I stand corrected.

What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
They both will work perfectly, until you open windows.

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Reply #7 - Dec 18^th, 2004 at 11:18pm

cableguy Offline
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Denver, CO

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So that makes cats look like my girlfriend lol

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Reply #8 - Dec 20^th, 2004 at 5:02am

Politically Incorrect Offline
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free of charge!
Williamsport, PA

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Quote:

If anything the cat's your captor.

Now I know why it is called a pussy(cat) Grin

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Reply #9 - Dec 20^th, 2004 at 1:15pm

Saitek Offline
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UK

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I take it the Dog society has reeked revenge on the Cat society! Wink

I love some dogs and hate some cats.
I love some cats and hate some dogs.
So one can either say I hate dogs and cats or that I love cats and dogs. Roll Eyes

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