Joystick blues...!

...Innit a buggar when the love of your life decides she doesn't wanted to be connected to you any more...!

Now I'm not talkin' about my ex Missus, but my lovely, £99.00, Microsoft Sidewinder Force Feedback Pro joystick, which I have had for years and years, I loved it to bits, and was much more useful to me than my ex Missus ever was...!

In my joystick "Gaming options/Joystick" settings it says "Not Connected"..!
Now I know that I've got it plugged in, (I'm not flippin' daft!), like I have for years in the past, (and all my other sticks/pads, etc, work OK, and have access to "Properties"), but this time it refuses to obey my instructions, whatever I do, to "get connected", (like my ex Missus whenever she had one of her many "headaches")...!

So I reckon there is either a broken connection somewhere in the joystick, joystick lead, (the power supply is OK), or my sound card (PCI) "game port" is playing up, or my ex Missus has put a spell on it, (She was very good at that sort of thing, as well as having frequent "headaches", I will let you know)...!

So...!
I have removed my Microsoft Sidewinder, etc, joystick and software, (and the picture of my ex Missus), and replaced it with....
Wait for it...!
Ready...?
A Logitech, Force Feedback, Wingman Force 3D, very shiney, sooper-dooper, USB, twist action, throttle control, loadsa-buttons, joystick, (£39.99 to you, Sir. Thank-you very much Sir!)...!
Now my joy has no bounderies, my pocket is empty, and wine is flowing, non stop, from my water-tap...!
..and my Flight Sims are flying again as though I was never grounded in the first place..
Utter joyfulness...!

At this point, I would like to point out a "Fozzers Very Useful Tip Of The Day"....
Although I have always dis-abled all the force feed-back settings from my joystick, (I find them extremely annoying, and a bit un-realistic, and my ex-Missus never appreciated it anyway), if ever you want to buy a flightsim-type joystick, with a twist-rudder action and throttle control, it seems you HAVE to buy a "force-feedback" type joystick, (mega-bucks), to obtain a "Non Spring Return To Centre" action...!!

All "normal" joysticks always spring-return to centre, which is no good for flight sim controls...!!!
..If you know other-wise, please don't argue with me.....LOL...!
(All REAL aircraft yokes/sticks don't automatically return to centre, trust me)...!

So...
Joystick Specifications...!

a) Game Port, (sound Card, etc), or USB connection?
b) Left hand/right hand?...(don't ask!).
c) Twist action for rudder control? Very important.
d) Throttle control? Very important.
e) Non Spring Return to centre? Very, very important. (May require a force-feedback type joystick!).
f) Buttons suitable for Flight Sim actions?
g) Loads of money? As always....

If you are a tight buggar, like your old mate Fozzer is, and can't afford a megga amount of money for a set of rudder pedals as well, then a twist action, (rudder), joystick will serve you just as well....trust me...!

Cheers all...!

Paul.

P.S. If the choice lies between buying a nice new, shiney, sooper-dooper joystick, or buying an engagement ring for your new girl-friend, guess what my advice would be...?
LOL...LOL...LOL...!

P.P.S Enquiries from dealers seem to indicate that Microsoft are no longer interested in producing joysticks, etc...(Competition from rivals?), and that my new Logitech, force-feedback joystick,( with power pack, you know the rest..), is less than half the price of my original Microsoft Sidewinder Force Feed-back Pro joystick..!

P.P.P.S. Have fun playing with your joystick. Much cheaper, and stress-free, than playing with your new girl-friend...trust me, as always...Fozzer...!

LOL...LOL...LOL...!

Note my Female Mouse is a little bit jealous of my new joystick, but if I keep stroking her, as I do, she will get used to it...(and she doesn't suffer from "headaches", either)....LOL...!





And my poor old Microsoft Sidewinder Force-Feedback Pro joystick... ...!
The king is dead. Long live the king...

Quote:


NAH...!
My female mouse becomes very suspicious at the mention of interferring with her private inside bits... ...!

..as for the joystick...can't be arsed...it's quicker to buy a new one... ...!
Instant gratification.... 8)...!

LOL...LOL...LOL...!

Cheers all... ...!

Paul.

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hehehe

Regards,
Stratobat

Thats happened to my old GaamePad since I installed a Cyborg 3D... Damn...
Dan 

The thing that's great about the Fozcat is this....sometimes you want to laugh with him, sometimes you want to laugh AT him, sometimes you want to hit him in the head with a ping pong paddle, and other times I think he just needs a hug.  lol 

If there's one member here whose posts I just know will make me crack up, it's gotta be Fozzer.  lol

Mr Fozzer, thank you for taking the time to post your joystick and assignments, its definatly one i shall pick up myself:)

Cheers Mate
Have a nice evening

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Are you aware that the power cable is a separete part and can be unplugged from the joystick? You may buy a cable (not necessarily from Microsoft, some casette player's cord may fit as wel, just be careful about the ampere rating of the cord (this suggestion is written in the manual as well)), it should not be very expensive.