Simviation Forum - My mom sent me this e-mail

Mar 20^th, 2004 at 8:44pm

Loafing Smurf Offline
Colonel
Push it!
Ottawa, Ontario (Canada)

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Posts: 1905

My mom sends me these joke e-mails all the time, heres one of them.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9
months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories
an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years
longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have
sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

My online photo album&&http://public.fotki.com/ranger21/&&&&Discover your Smurf name today!&&http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mule/smurfgen.html&&&&;

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Reply #1 - Mar 20^th, 2004 at 10:02pm

IcedFoxtrotter Offline
Colonel
If only I could find a
girl as pretty as this....
N.W. American Rockies

Gender:
Posts: 612

Quote:

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

You have to have your head cut off to have sex?! Now that sucks! Abstinace is good you. That's almost as bad as Mr. Bobbit's problem. Wink

A.L. Quote: Everytime you go away, it actually kinda makes my day. Everytime you leave you slam the door. You pick your words so carefully, you hate to think you're hurting me. You leave me laughing on the floor......Cause I don't give it up, I don't give a damn what you say about that. You know I don't give it up, I don't give a damn, What you say about that......&&

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Reply #2 - Mar 23^rd, 2004 at 2:54am

BFMF Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest

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Posts: 19820

already been posted Grin

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

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Reply #3 - Mar 23^rd, 2004 at 11:09am

Corsair Freak Offline
Colonel
Tiskilwa, Illinois, U.S.A.

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Posts: 1537

Quote:

already been posted Grin

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Reply #4 - Mar 23^rd, 2004 at 11:33am

Tequila Sunrise Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

Gender:
Posts: 4149

ok, suck to be a praying mantis

who asked the butterfly?

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

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Reply #5 - Mar 23^rd, 2004 at 5:47pm

terbert Offline
Colonel
The greatest multiplayer
ever to crash!!!!
South Bucks, UK

Gender:
Posts: 374

Oink, oink, oink I feel sorry for the pig. If there is re- incarnation, I am coming back as myself Grin

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Reply #6 - Mar 23^rd, 2004 at 6:10pm

bm_727 Offline
Colonel
Connecticut, USA!

Gender:
Posts: 436

Quote:

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9
months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Hahaha....
Now I finally have the plans to make a secret weapon of mass destruction

&&[glow=green,2,300]I didn't lose my mind- I sold it on Ebay! [/glow]

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Reply #7 - Mar 23^rd, 2004 at 6:41pm

terbert Offline
Colonel
The greatest multiplayer
ever to crash!!!!
South Bucks, UK

Gender:
Posts: 374

Hey bm_727

If you're serious, I could let you have that much gas by the end of next week Grin

That is assuming my wife continues cooking for the next seven days Grin

Tony C

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Reply #8 - Mar 23^rd, 2004 at 9:14pm

bm_727 Offline
Colonel
Connecticut, USA!

Gender:
Posts: 436

hey terbert-

How much for the g- wait...you're not involved with the FBI, are you Wink

? I can't afford for my plans to be discovered by the government Undecided

...

&&[glow=green,2,300]I didn't lose my mind- I sold it on Ebay! [/glow]

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Reply #9 - Mar 25^th, 2004 at 3:55am

Polynomial Offline
Colonel
Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

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Posts: 1951

lol

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Reply #10 - Apr 1^st, 2004 at 2:02pm

Skittles Offline
Colonel
N769JC: "Isn't simulating
stimulating?
JAQ: Westover Field, CA (O70)

Gender:
Posts: 837

Being the geek that I am, I'll have to say I disagree with the tounge being the strongest muscle, it's either the Jaw muscles or the heart.

Can I be a pig too?

What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
They both will work perfectly, until you open windows.

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Reply #11 - Apr 1^st, 2004 at 3:16pm

bm_727 Offline
Colonel
Connecticut, USA!

Gender:
Posts: 436

No, the tongue is definetly it- I heard it on TV too...

And everything TV says, is right-

lol

I think when they say that, they're talking about relative strength... Like how ants are like the strongest insect, because they can carry x times their body weight... Wink

&&[glow=green,2,300]I didn't lose my mind- I sold it on Ebay! [/glow]

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