A young lad gets a job in a general store. Lady comes in and asks for a packet of tea. Lad puts tea on the counter and says "Thats £1 please" Gets the money and lady leaves.
The store owner was watching this and says to the lad."That was awful. When you make a sale get talking about related things and try to sell other stuff. I will do the next customer, you watch"

Bloke comes in and asks for a packet of grass seed. " One packet of seed, sir. That's 50 pence. What about fertiliser, sir cos' when you plant the seed, it will need fertilising to make it grow." "Never thought of that, yes I will take a packet" says the chap. "Right," says the store owner " Once the grass has grown it will need cutting, have you got a lawnmower?"  "No, I haven't got one, do you sell them."  " Yes, they cost £80, and we have two in stock"  "I'll take one" says the customer. "Right, Thats a packet of seed, a packet of fertiliser, and one lawnmower. That will be £81.50 pence please. sir" He pays up and leaves.

"That is how you do it" says the storekeeper to the lad. "You take the next customer and I will check you out."
In comes a bloke..."Yes sir, how can I help you"says the lad.
" A packet of sanitary towels, please." "Right" says the lad, "One packet of sanitary towels, sir, thats £2.50 pence. And what about a lawnmower sir."
"Lawnmower"...."What the bloody hell do I want a lawnmower for"
"Well,sir," says the lad, " There is obviously nothing else gonna happen this weekend, I thought you would probably want to mow the grass"

Tony C

Ummmm....... ???

LMAO...........! That lad will go far.

Is the store owner any relation to Arkwright?

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Same Here Iced

Oh no, belive me I get it but......... again, its the cross-cultural thing again.

Exactly CRJ. American and Canadian humor usualy has double meanings and hidden sarcasm.  As someone who is used to it, I understand it all. Brit humor, by comparison, is relativly simplistic when read next to ours; we are somewhat lost because we are subconsiously looking for the hidden meaning that isn't there, so we end up put off by it and don't find it funny, and it ends up being boring because that's all there is to the joke.

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Ummm..... yup, yup, yup; I was just trying to be democratic about it and not be offensive to the Brits (CRJ, don't even open your mouth ).

Again, it seems too simpistic as compared to the stuff my culture produces.

No, that is the other end of the spectrum like Monty Pyton and other such nonsense that is over there on your isle. You guys don't have anything in the middle, its one extreme or the other. Both of which are too much strangeness for most of us Americans, to apeal to.