Simviation Forum - EU standard language

Feb 4^th, 2004 at 9:09am

Tequila Sunrise Offline
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The european union commisioners have anounced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preffered language for European comunications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (or Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertanly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in languag is digrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by the leter "z" and "w" by "v".
During yer 5, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd, from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

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Reply #1 - Feb 4^th, 2004 at 8:42pm

flyboy 28 Offline
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LMAO!!!

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Reply #2 - Feb 5^th, 2004 at 1:11am

BFMF Offline
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been posted before Wink

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Reply #3 - Feb 5^th, 2004 at 4:31am

Politically Incorrect Offline
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Seems like a few here at "TheV" have already put the "Euro" into effect!! Grin

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Reply #4 - Feb 5^th, 2004 at 4:38am

Hagar Offline
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Quote:

Seems like a few here at "TheV" have already put the "Euro" into effect!! Grin

LOL You beat me to it. Grin

For an example of this new "improved" English you only have to look round this forum. It's been in use here for a long time, mainly by people with English as their first language. This must be a reflection on our education systems & I'm not sure that's so amusing. Roll Eyes

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Reply #5 - Feb 5^th, 2004 at 4:51am

Politically Incorrect Offline
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TRUE!

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Reply #6 - Feb 6^th, 2004 at 10:30am

flyboy 28 Offline
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Ja?

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Reply #7 - Feb 6^th, 2004 at 10:13pm

russ Offline
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LMAO!!!

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Reply #8 - Feb 7^th, 2004 at 3:53pm

terbert Offline
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???

Wot is you be arn about, Agar, Is you be sayin that us Bucks peoples cant not speak like proper?? We baint no diffrent frarm wot you lot is wot lives up on them there ills. Wot I wont to know is, wy do you call them there ills wich are 'ups' Downs ??? ???

Tony, a educayted people from Bucks

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Reply #9 - Feb 7^th, 2004 at 6:08pm

Hagar Offline
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Quote:

Wot I wont to know is, wy do you call them there ills wich are 'ups' Downs ??? ???

Tony old chap. I've lived here all my life & this one has always puzzled me. ??? When we were young we often went up the Downs to play. This is known as Silly Sussex after all. Roll Eyes

There is also the North Downs. Maybe the people who live up that way would know. Wink

PS. My ex came from the village of Upper Beeding. This is several miles further south & lower in altitude than the village of Lower Beeding. I never figured that one out either. Grin

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Reply #10 - Feb 8^th, 2004 at 6:45am

terbert Offline
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The greatest multiplayer
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??? ??? Not just Sussex, old boy Grin

Bedfordshire has Dunstable Downs, which are 'ups' also.

It is lovely to sit on the 'Downs' and watch aircraft flying around below. So when they are up, they can't be, because as you say, they are lower than the downs, which are really ups, Grin

so where are they ???

Oh, my gawd, what am I babbling on about. Grin

It is only midday and I am off my trolley Grin

Talking about 'off my trolley' where did....................

Aaarrrrgh

Tony

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Reply #11 - Feb 8^th, 2004 at 8:20pm

Jared Offline
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lol, I'm not sure what's funnier, the actual joke, or the responses...

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