On a  hairdryer : Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of sweets:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On a  dessert: Do not turn upside down.
*printed on bottom of the box* (Too late! You lose!)

On a  Pudding packet:
Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment. )

On packaging for an  iron:Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

On  Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On a sleep medicine:
Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or
outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space? Or underground?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On  peanuts packet: Warning: contains nuts.
(Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning )

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open
packet, eat nuts.
(Really. Never knew)


On a childs superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

lol! those are funny!

My personal favourite has always been one seen on a chainsaw:

"Do not stop blade using genitals."

I've always tried to keep that one in mind.

LMAO ON ALL OF EM!!!

On a tube of Preparation H it says, "Do not take this orally"... Thats sad... Cause you know someone wrote them a letter... "Dear Preparation H... I ate this whole dang tube... I STILL GOT THESE HEMMOROIDS!!! Man, my mouth's so small... I can't eat a jellybean anymore...But I can whistle really good..."

My uncle just bought my cousin a little bath toy... It's called "Rub-A-Dub Dolly"... And she comes with a little life preserver, and on the back it says, "This is not a lifesaving device..." How would really see a guy drowinin in a river and say "HERE!!! HERES A RUB-A-DUB DOLLY DOLL!"
"Oh, thank God, you saved my life..."

On the back of my shaving cream it says "Do not spray this into an open fire..." Well, where the hell's that guy shavin at? Hes sittin round the campfire one night... "Well, I'm feelin a little bristly..." SPSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... "Nice... Thats nice..."

My parents just got a new computer... Ya know those little packing peanuts they put in? On the side of the box it says... "Warning: DO NOT EAT" You ever buy a computer and think there might be somthing to eat inside? "Well, look! I got a laptop and a pack of Chicklets!"

On the back of a roll-on deodorant it says "Warning--Do not apply this to your eyes..." Ladies........ How many times you ever go out with a guy... He was nice, charming, but he just had that stinky-eye...

My dad and I were workin on our Jeep the other week and we were putting on a new fanbelt. Did you know that on the back of a car fanbelt it says, "Be sure to stop the engine before applying..." Wouldn't you love to have been there the first time that happened? Some guy walks into the house with his hands all cut up and his son says, "Dad, what happened?"
"Well, son... I'm gonna give you a tip... You ever put a fanbelt on a car, you better shut that motor off first... You can't stop it with your hands... Its like a machine or somthing!!!"

On the back of a curling iron it says, "Do not insert this into any orafice..." My God... What ever happend to good old-fashioned foreplay? "Whooooo, warm up the curlin iron!!!"



And somthing to add to Brads...

Quote:


Man, I CANNOT COUNT how many times I was sound asleep... I woke up, I was doin my hair... "Damn... I was sleep-styling again!"

Quote:


Yep! If that ever comes to being...

A) You don't want any more kids/pleasure

or B) That is THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO