Here are some jokes I just got emailed to me courtesy of my girfriend.......enjoy
A Scouser walked into the local unemployment office, marched straight up to the counter and says "Alright mate, I'm lookin' for a job"
The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur for his 21 year old daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes CLK, uniform provided. Due to the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and once a year you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holiday. The salary package is £30,000 a year."
The Scouser said "Nah, you're talkin' cobblers mate!".
The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!"....
Don't Argue With Children:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
Ric B.
Pages: 1
