A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party.  He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.  A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
     Dear, please find enclosed a pirates outfit.  The spotted handkerchief will
     Hide your bald head, and with the wooden leg you will be perfect as a
     Pirate.  Very truly yours, the Acme Costume Company

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a terrible letter of complaint.  A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note which says:
Dear sir, please find enclosed a monks habit.  The long robe will cover your wooden legand with your bald head, you will really look the part.  Very truly yours, the Acme Costume Company

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg, to his bald head.  So again he writes a letter of complaint.  The next day he gets a small parcel and a small note, which read:
     Dear sir, please find the enclosed bottle of molasses.  Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your behind and go to the party as a caramel apple! Very truly yours, the Acme Costume Company!