Pharmacist

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic.

The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"

The lady says "To kill my husband."

"I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist.

The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a woman in a

compromising position. The man is her husband and the woman is the druggist's wife. 
She shows it to the druggist.

He looks at the photo and says, "Oh I didn't know you had a prescription!"
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Drunk

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain,

is asking for a push.



"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and

returns to bed. 



"Who was that?" asked his wife.



"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.



"Did you help him?" she asks.



"No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring out there!"



"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago

when we broke down and those two guys helped us?  I think you should help him, and you

should be ashamed of yourself!"



The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into

the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"



"Yes," comes back the answer.



"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.



"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.



"Where are you?" asks the husband.



"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.