Simviation Forum - 20 ways to maintain sanity

	Search the archive:

Simviation Main Site | Site Search | Upload Images

Simviation Forum › General › Humour › 20 ways to maintain sanity

(Moderators: Mitch., Fly2e, ozzy72, beaky, Clipper, JBaymore, Bob70, BigTruck)

‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›

Pages: 1

20 ways to maintain sanity (Read 360 times)

Apr 25^th, 2003 at 2:44am

Deputy Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gender:
Posts: 2090

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera (or to the classical station on your radio).

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. Dress up like a pilot, go to the airport lounge and get drunk like hell.

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

IP Logged

Reply #1 - Apr 25^th, 2003 at 1:13pm

Tequila Sunrise Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

Gender:
Posts: 4149

lol, gonna try that with the coffee Grin

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

IP Logged

Reply #2 - Apr 25^th, 2003 at 3:02pm

BFMF Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest

Gender:
Posts: 19820

LOL!!!

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

IP Logged

Reply #3 - Apr 26^th, 2003 at 3:45am

Smoke2much Offline
Colonel
The Unrepentant Heretic
Sittingbourne, Kent,

Posts: 3879

Fantastic ideas, I will have to try some of them.

Will

Who switched the lights off? I can't see a thing....... Hold on, my eyes were closed. Oops, my bad...............&&

IP Logged

Reply #4 - Apr 26^th, 2003 at 6:38am

Woodlouse2002 Offline
Colonel
I like jam.
Cornwall, England

Gender:
Posts: 12574

I like the first one... Grin

Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!&&&&Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the Act made in the first year of King George the First for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King.&&&&Viva la revolution!

IP Logged

Reply #5 - May 5^th, 2003 at 3:44am

Polynomial Offline
Colonel
Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

Gender:
Posts: 1951

excellent

IP Logged

Reply #6 - May 6^th, 2003 at 12:37am

BMan1113VR Offline
Colonel
Los Angeles, California

Gender:
Posts: 9196

the first and last are really good, the rest are pretty funny too

Sincerely,&&Me&&&&SimV NFL 2006-2007 Season Pool Co-Champion (157-99; 9-2)&&SimV NFL 2005-2006 Season Pool Co-Champion (163-93)&&SimV NFL 2004-2005 Season Pool Champion (166-90) &&

&&Click for Assistance

IP Logged

Reply #7 - May 6^th, 2003 at 1:52am