> 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

> 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

> 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

> 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

> 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

> 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

> 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

> 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive flavored mouthwash.

> 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

> 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

> 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

> 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

> 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

> 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

> 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

> 16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.