Simviation Forum - Would You Believe?

Apr 1^st, 2003 at 9:49pm

Deputy Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gender:
Posts: 2090

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck the front end.

To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #1 - Apr 2^nd, 2003 at 2:15am

BFMF Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest

Gender:
Posts: 19820

LOL!!!

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #2 - Apr 2^nd, 2003 at 6:01pm

katana_1000 Offline
Colonel
a_blesk
patomac,MD

Gender:
Posts: 1803

one of them is my moms...guess which one Lips Sealed

&&and yet i cant say it in the chat room:P&&&&http://airliners.net/random.inc&&&&;

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #3 - Apr 2^nd, 2003 at 9:08pm

Deputy Offline
Colonel
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gender:
Posts: 2090

Quote:

one of them is my moms...guess which one Lips Sealed

Eh heh. . . uh oh. . .

(Katana, check your messages)

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?&&&&Iustita Omnibus&&Justice for All&&&&Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.&& &&Yes, we drive on the right-hand-side of the road. Yes, I parked on the left-hand-side of the road. Yes, I blocked traffic for a picture. &&&&&&

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #4 - Apr 3^rd, 2003 at 6:28pm

Polynomial Offline
Colonel
Health is merely the slowest
possible way to die.
Brisbane, Australia

Gender:
Posts: 1951

i heard them b4 but it is always worth a good laugh.

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #5 - Apr 5^th, 2003 at 7:31am

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

Gender:
Posts: 37122

These were originally done by an English comedian called Jasper Carrot, v.funny guy. But you are missing my favourite one...
"I saw a sad faced slow moving old gentleman as he bounced off the bonnet of my car!"

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #6 - Apr 5^th, 2003 at 7:39am

BFMF Offline
Colonel
Pacific Northwest

Gender:
Posts: 19820

lol

COMPLETED: If Anyone Cares, Here's A Map Of My Current FSX Flight Around The World

My Reality Check Bounced

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #7 - Apr 6^th, 2003 at 9:14am

Tequila Sunrise Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

Gender:
Posts: 4149

lol. speaking of Jasper Carrot, does anyone else trhink he looks like Vladimir Putin (sp)

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #8 - Apr 6^th, 2003 at 12:12pm

ozzy72 Offline
Global Moderator
Pretty scary huh?
Madsville

Gender:
Posts: 37122

Yeah he does a bit doesn't he....

Ozzy

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

Back to top

IP Logged

	Search the archive: