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A Bit O` Airplane Humor (Read 615 times)
Nov 10th, 2011 at 3:45pm

FSX_Dude   Offline
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Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.


If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.


Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.


It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.


The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.


The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.




When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.


A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.


Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.


You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.


The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.


Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.


Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another aeroplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.


Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.


There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.


You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.


Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.


If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.


In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.


Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgement.


It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.


Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.


Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.


The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

Grin Grin Grin Grin Cheesy Cheesy
<FSX_dude>
 

I don't need a Sign.....wait......Damn!
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Reply #1 - Nov 10th, 2011 at 4:38pm

DaveSims   Offline
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And just remember, flying is the safest mode of transportation, we haven't left anyone up there yet.
 
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Reply #2 - Nov 10th, 2011 at 5:49pm

FSX_Dude   Offline
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DaveSims wrote on Nov 10th, 2011 at 4:38pm:
And just remember, flying is the safest mode of transportation, we haven't left anyone up there yet.

Nope  Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
 

I don't need a Sign.....wait......Damn!
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Reply #3 - Nov 11th, 2011 at 12:22am

H   Offline
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DaveSims wrote on Nov 10th, 2011 at 4:38pm:
... we haven't left anyone up there yet.
Just his footprints and refuse -- so that ET may think he had the crap scared out of him and high tailed it...



Cool
 
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Reply #4 - Nov 11th, 2011 at 12:34pm

Tequila Sunrise   Offline
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Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed, lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee.

Craig
 

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee
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Reply #5 - Nov 11th, 2011 at 12:48pm

FSX_Dude   Offline
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Tequila Sunrise wrote on Nov 11th, 2011 at 12:34pm:
Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed, lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee.

Craig

Cheesy Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Cheesy
 

I don't need a Sign.....wait......Damn!
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Reply #6 - Nov 11th, 2011 at 2:57pm

FoxThree   Offline
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There's old pilots, and there's bold pilots - but there's no old & bold pilots.
 
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Reply #7 - Nov 11th, 2011 at 3:45pm

Bud Greene   Offline
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You guys (and my airplane landings) really crack me up! Cheesy Grin
 
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Reply #8 - Nov 11th, 2011 at 3:50pm

Steve M   Offline
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Bud Greene wrote on Nov 11th, 2011 at 3:45pm:
You guys (and my airplane landings) really crack me up! Cheesy Grin



Grin Grin Now that is funny, nice one!   Cool
 

...
Flying with twins is a lot of fun..
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Reply #9 - Nov 15th, 2011 at 3:57am

F35LightningII   Offline
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I've come across some of these jokes in a couple of places:

"Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier." - Air Crash Investigation (I think it's called "Mayday" in the U.S.)

"You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. " - Rod Machado - FS lessons.

 

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