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An interesting take on common sayings. (Read 1119 times)
Aug 29th, 2011 at 1:39pm

Club508   Offline
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"He who knows most, speaks least."
Huh, that's strange, 'cause I've noticed in a classroom, the teacher's usually the one doing all the talking!  But then again, you know what they say,  "Those who can't do, teach"!


"You are what you eat."
If you are what you eat, would that include the form of the food AFTER it's exited the body as well?  And also, would it include drinks?


"A penny saved is a penny earned"
In this economy, I'd say a penny saved will end up becoming .2 of a penny earned.


"That's a piece of cake!"
Actually, no.  That's shoveling cow manuer.  Not cake.  Don't eat it.


"A picture is worth a thousand words"
So you're saying I should give up on selling this Davinci painting for money and just hope for nice complements instead?


"It'll cost you an arm and a leg."
Hey doc, is amputation painfull?


"All bark and no bite"
So you're saying if I chase my dog all around and drive him crazy to try to get him to play with me I won't have to worry about getting bitten?  Sweet! Grin


"Back seat driver"
So I'm allowed to drive a car without a liscence as long as I'm in the back seat?  Cool!  Time to go for a joyride! Cheesy Grin  Smiley


"Back to square one"
MAN I hate hopscotch!!! Angry Angry Angry


"beating around the bush"
Well, time to go scare the chipmuncks out! Cheesy Smiley


"Barking up the wrong tree"
Hey dude, when you're bear hunting, it's best to get the bear up in the tree BEFORE you set the dogs on the tree.


"Break a leg!"
MEEEDIIIIC!!!!!


"I've got a charley horse"
I've got a shetland pony! Grin


"Come hell or highwater"
I'd prefer the flood please.


"You crack me up!"
Well I sure hope you don't turn out like humpty-dumpty!


"Don't cry over spilt milk"
But it was the very last carton! Cry


"Curiosity killed the cat"
Really?  I thought it was starvation that killed it.


"Don't count you're chickens before they hatch"
Well of course I won't!  Everybody knows these are ROBIN's eggs!  Not chicken eggs! Cheesy


"Don't put all your eggs in one basket"
But I only have one easter basket!


"You're driving me up the wall!"
No, we'd need a helicopter to do that.  But I can drive you completely insane if you'd like!  Cheesy Smiley


"Every cloud has a silver lining"
Not the nimbus ones, those have a nice dark grey lining.


"Please excuse my French"
It's okay, I only know english any way! Grin


"Elvis has left the building"
Oh yeah, and he left for gooooood this time. Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes


"Get up on the wrong side of the bed"
I did.  And there was an open window on that side.


"Great minds think alike"
Then mine is WAAAAAAYYYY off course. Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy


"Gut feeling"
It's called hunger.  Go get something to eat stupid!


"I'm gonna go hit the sack"
Those things do make good punching bags don't they?


"Hold your horses"
Sorry, forgot my bridle today, and they're already off and running without me.


"It takes two to tango"
Not the way I do it!!! Grin Cheesy Cheesy Smiley


"Lend me you're ear"
Sorry, you won't get any use from mine.  I'm deaf.  Eeeeeehhhhhh?  What's that sonny?


"The cat's out of the bag"
I told you he wouldn't fit in there! Angry


"Let sleeping dogs lie"
But they're always blocking the sidewalk! Sad


"Loose cannon"
Well it's always good to keep em' well oiled just in case we see combat anytime soon.


"Long in the tooth"
You think he's long in the tooth?!?  My baby tooth is conected to my adult one!!!


"Never bite the hand that feeds you"
Why would I bite myself?


"Off the hook"
MAN that catfish is annoying! Angry  Hey Frank, pass me some more bait will ya?


"Over my dead body!"
Lucky or me, I brought my .44 magnum. Smiley


"Pedal to the metal"
Actually, my car has interior carpeting.


"Practice makes perfect"
With life it certainly doesn't. Sad Undecided


"Put a sock in it!"
In what?  The washing machine or the dryer?


"Raining cats and dogs"
Then where's Snoopy and Garfield?


"Rule of thumb"
Interesting!  What's your rule of pointer finger?


"I smell a rat"
Really? All I smell is dead fish and a failed attempt at using air freshner.


"You son of a gun!"
How did you know my dad was a hunting rifle?!?!? Shocked Shocked Shocked


"Spitting image"
I always have wondered why the splatters of my saliva always take the shape of Micky Mouse's head.


"the bigger they are the harder they fall"
Not in 0 gravity they don't!


"Not until the cows come home"
Would that include the bulls?


"Water under the bridge"
Sorry, we've been having a pretty big drought lately.


"When pigs fly"
They already do!  With enough thrust that is... Roll Eyes Cheesy Roll Eyes


"X marks the spot"
Actually, no.  This time a big letter A will mark the spot.


"You can't judge a book by it's cover"
Actually, you can.  I've done it before.





Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
That's all folks!
Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
 
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Reply #1 - Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:30pm

hyperpep111   Offline
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You'll Never See Me Coming.
93 million miles from sun

Gender: male
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Quote:
"Back seat driver"
So I'm allowed to drive a car without a liscence as long as I'm in the back seat?  Cool!  Time to go for a joyride!  Cheesy Grin Smiley   




But I'm pretty sure that when filling out the insurance it asks
Quote:
Where were you at the time of the crash

It the back seat Cheesy.
Not sure how they'd take that Grin
 
Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.
                                    
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Reply #2 - Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:42pm

Club508   Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

Gender: male
 Posts: 1528
 *****
 
hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:30pm:
Quote:
"Back seat driver"
So I'm allowed to drive a car without a liscence as long as I'm in the back seat?  Cool!  Time to go for a joyride!  Cheesy Grin Smiley   




But I'm pretty sure that when filling out the insurance it asks
Quote:
Where were you at the time of the crash

It the back seat Cheesy.
Not sure how they'd take that Grin

Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
 
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Reply #3 - Aug 29th, 2011 at 3:11pm

hyperpep111   Offline
Colonel
You'll Never See Me Coming.
93 million miles from sun

Gender: male
 Posts: 1328
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Club508 wrote on Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:42pm:
hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:30pm:
Quote:
"Back seat driver"
So I'm allowed to drive a car without a liscence as long as I'm in the back seat?  Cool!  Time to go for a joyride!  Cheesy Grin Smiley   




But I'm pretty sure that when filling out the insurance it asks
Quote:
Where were you at the time of the crash

It the back seat Cheesy.
Not sure how they'd take that Grin

Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
 
Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.
                                    
...
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Reply #4 - Aug 29th, 2011 at 3:43pm

H   Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

Gender: male
 Posts: 6837
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hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:30pm:
I'm pretty sure that when filling out the insurance it asks
Quote:
Where were you at the time of the crash

It the back seat...
Not sure how they'd take that.
Which brings to mind an accident I'd rather shoved into the netherworld of my mind (hmn... maybe my 'nethermind', for short?); it was an incident that belongs in a cinema comedy. Once upon a time I had a small standard shift car and was heading to work. There is a place on that road where there is an "S" curve across a small bridge and I downshifted to make my way across. Exiting the bridge, about to make the curve in the other direction, I pulled back on the stick to change gear -- the knob came off the shifter! In the attempt to put it back on, there was a bumb in the road... I missed with the knob and the shift stick went up my sleeve. My head was now below the dash level and I felt the car hit the gravel off the side of the road, so I yanked the steering wheel the other way as I also used it to pull myself up. Finally upright and retrieving my other arm from its engagement with the gear shift, I found myself angling across the road with another vehicle headed at me; there was no way I could turn back to my side in time so I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and jumped over the back of the seat; I don't think I quite landed in the back seat when the front of the car struck the embankment.



Cool
 
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Reply #5 - Aug 29th, 2011 at 3:46pm

Club508   Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

Gender: male
 Posts: 1528
 *****
 
H wrote on Aug 29th, 2011 at 3:43pm:
hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 29th, 2011 at 2:30pm:
I'm pretty sure that when filling out the insurance it asks
Quote:
Where were you at the time of the crash

It the back seat...
Not sure how they'd take that.
Which brings to mind an accident I'd rather shoved into the netherworld of my mind (hmn... maybe my 'nethermind', for short?); it was an incident that belongs in a cinema comedy. Once upon a time I had a small standard shift car and was heading to work. There is a place on that road where there is an "S" curve across a small bridge and I downshifted to make my way across. Exiting the bridge, about to make the curve in the other direction, I pulled back on the stick to change gear -- the knob came off the shifter! In the attempt to put it back on, there was a bumb in the road... I missed with the knob and the shift stick went up my sleeve. My head was now below the dash level and I felt the car hit the gravel off the side of the road, so I yanked the steering wheel the other way as I also used it to pull myself up. Finally upright and retrieving my other arm from its engagement with the gear shift, I found myself angling across the road with another vehicle headed at me; there was no way I could turn back to my side in time so I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and jumped over the back of the seat; I don't think I quite landed in the back seat when the front of the car struck the embankment.



Cool

I've had much worse.

_______|    |______
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ <
_______     _______ <
           |    |
Bus-----|    |
______|    |________
Van->_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ >
_______      _______ >
           |    |
Me-------- ^

This was one of those separated highways where the lanes on one side go one way and the lanes on the other go the other way.

1: We are stopped at a stop sign waiting to cross the highway.  The school bus is stopped in the mid section waiting for the chance to cross to where we are. The van is driving like normal in the left most lane of the highway.
2: School bus pulls out in front of the van.
3:Van honks horn
4:Van tries to stop but collides with the front of the school bus full speed despite the driver's efforts to stop.
5:The impact causes the van to swerve right into our car, taking off the entire front end of our car and knocking pieces of metal into the highway.
6: Van ends up flying off the road into a ditch on the right of the highway coming to rest at a Tilted 45* angle.  Tilt, not rotation.
7: School bus keeps going and hits our front-left end which transforms into a harsh sideswipe and then comes to a stop next to us.
 
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Reply #6 - Aug 30th, 2011 at 12:01am

H   Offline
Colonel
2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

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Although I did not see any humor in it at the time, Club508, my incident has a humorous aspect now. What is humorous about yours?



Cool
 
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Reply #7 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 7:24am

Club508   Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

Gender: male
 Posts: 1528
 *****
 
H wrote on Aug 30th, 2011 at 12:01am:
Although I did not see any humor in it at the time, Club508, my incident has a humorous aspect now. What is humorous about yours?



Cool

Ab-so-lut-ley nothing. Tongue
 
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Reply #8 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 9:24am

hyperpep111   Offline
Colonel
You'll Never See Me Coming.
93 million miles from sun

Gender: male
 Posts: 1328
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Club508 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 7:24am:
H wrote on Aug 30th, 2011 at 12:01am:
Although I did not see any humor in it at the time, Club508, my incident has a humorous aspect now. What is humorous about yours?



Cool

Ab-so-lut-ley nothing. Tongue


I've had a few of my own "interesting" driving experiences Tongue


Renč

 
Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.
                                    
...
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Reply #9 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 9:40am

Club508   Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

Gender: male
 Posts: 1528
 *****
 
hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 9:24am:
Club508 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 7:24am:
H wrote on Aug 30th, 2011 at 12:01am:
Although I did not see any humor in it at the time, Club508, my incident has a humorous aspect now. What is humorous about yours?



Cool

Ab-so-lut-ley nothing. Tongue


I've had a few of my own "interesting" driving experiences Tongue


Renč


Okay, now this I've gotta hear!
 
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Reply #10 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 10:28am

patchz   Offline
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What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

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I probably investigated 500 and 1,000 accidents in my career. If I think about it a while, I can probably come up with several humorous stories, and quite a few horror ones too.
 
...
If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.
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Reply #11 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 11:31am

Club508   Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

Gender: male
 Posts: 1528
 *****
 
patchz wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 10:28am:
I probably investigated 500 and 1,000 accidents in my career. If I think about it a while, I can probably come up with several humorous stories, and quite a few horror ones too.

Wow!  what were you?  A police officer?  Forenzics specialist?  Insurance agent?

By the way, I just noticed, your signature is messed up. Tongue
 
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Reply #12 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 12:04pm

hyperpep111   Offline
Colonel
You'll Never See Me Coming.
93 million miles from sun

Gender: male
 Posts: 1328
 *****
 
Club508 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 11:31am:
patchz wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 10:28am:
I probably investigated 500 and 1,000 accidents in my career. If I think about it a while, I can probably come up with several humorous stories, and quite a few horror ones too.

Wow!  what were you?  A police officer?  Forenzics specialist?  Insurance agent?

By the way, I just noticed, your signature is messed up. Tongue


Well Judging by the fact He stated on another That he Doesn't know what a sun is... Grin


Renč
 
Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.
                                    
...
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Reply #13 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 12:08pm

Club508   Offline
Colonel
I like repainting aircraft!
Planet Earth

Gender: male
 Posts: 1528
 *****
 
hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 12:04pm:
Club508 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 11:31am:
patchz wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 10:28am:
I probably investigated 500 and 1,000 accidents in my career. If I think about it a while, I can probably come up with several humorous stories, and quite a few horror ones too.

Wow!  what were you?  A police officer?  Forenzics specialist?  Insurance agent?

By the way, I just noticed, your signature is messed up. Tongue


Well Judging by the fact He stated on another That he Doesn't know what a sun is... Grin


Renč

Must be an insurance agent. Grin
 
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Reply #14 - Aug 31st, 2011 at 12:34pm

hyperpep111   Offline
Colonel
You'll Never See Me Coming.
93 million miles from sun

Gender: male
 Posts: 1328
 *****
 
Club508 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 12:08pm:
hyperpep111 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 12:04pm:
Club508 wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 11:31am:
patchz wrote on Aug 31st, 2011 at 10:28am:
I probably investigated 500 and 1,000 accidents in my career. If I think about it a while, I can probably come up with several humorous stories, and quite a few horror ones too.

Wow!  what were you?  A police officer?  Forenzics specialist?  Insurance agent?

By the way, I just noticed, your signature is messed up. Tongue


Well Judging by the fact He stated on another That he Doesn't know what a sun is... Grin


Renč

Must be an insurance agent. Grin


Then he might as well be a lawyer Grin
 
Most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots because they know how easy it is.
Arguing with a pilot is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.
                                    
...
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