A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"
 
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !!   
No questions asked or answers given!!  Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......








With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety.  The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....               



"Your badge, show him your BADGE!"

For some reason, this makes me think of Jim Stafford's song, "Wildwood Weed."


The name of this song is 'The Wildwood Flower'

Now 'The Wildwood Flower' is an old country classic

It gained a whole new popularity

The song isn't any more popular

But the flower is doin' real good

The wildwood flower grew wild on the farm

And we never knowed what it was called

Some said it was a flower and some said it was weed

I didn't gave it much thought...

One day I was out there talking to my brother

Reached down for a weed to chew on

Things got fuzzy and things got blurry

And then everything was gone

I Didn't know what happened

But I knew it beat the hell out of sniffin' burlap

I come to and my brother was there

And he said, 'What's wrong with your eyes?'

I said, 'I don't know, I was chewing on a weed'

He said, 'Let me give it a try'

We spent the rest of that day and most of that night

Trying to find my brother, Bill

Caught up with him 'bout six o'clock the next mornin'

Naked, swinging on the windmill

He said he flew up there

I had to fly up and get him down

He was about half crazy

The very next day we picked a bunch of them weeds

And put 'em in the sun to dry

Then we mashed 'em up and we cleaned 'em all

And put 'em in the corncob pipe

Smokin' them wildwood flowers got to be a habit

We didn't see no harm

We thought it was kind of handy

Take a trip and never leave the farm

A big ol' puff on the wildwood weed

Next thing you know

We's just wandering behind the little animals

All good things gotta come to an end

And it's the same with the wildwood weed

One day this feller from Washington come by

And he spied us and he turned white as a sheet

And he dug and he burned

And he burned and he dug

And he killed all our cute little weeds

Then he drove away

We just smiled and waved

Sittin' there on that sack of seeds

Y'all come back now, ya hear

Awesome joke Chuck and I hadn't heard that song in 30 years L.T., thanks