Simviation Forum

Reply #210 - Dec 8^th, 2011 at 1:06am

U4EA Ex Member

Escalator Rules Causing Me To Take The Stairs:

I came upon an escalator and on the base of the device it had a sign stating:

Must Carry Dog on Escalator

I walked around but could not find a dog! Embarrassed

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Reply #211 - Dec 8^th, 2011 at 9:50am

FoxThree Offline
Colonel
KRFD

Gender:
Posts: 801

Steve M wrote on Dec 6^th, 2011 at 8:32pm:

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The
farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us.
Then I'll help you get the wagon up."
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would
like me to."
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now,
but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is
he?"
"Under the wagon."

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Reply #212 - Dec 9^th, 2011 at 1:40am

U4EA Ex Member

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick pervert.”

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Reply #213 - Dec 22^nd, 2011 at 7:13pm

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Gender:
Posts: 10589

What did the lonely sailor say?

"Ahoy Buoy". Roll Eyes

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #214 - Dec 22^nd, 2011 at 8:07pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

Not a one liner but here goes..
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"

Tongue

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #215 - Dec 23^rd, 2011 at 12:10pm

Bud Greene Offline
Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...

Gender:
Posts: 480

Steve M wrote on Dec 22^nd, 2011 at 8:07pm:

Not a one liner but here goes..
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"

Tongue

Nice!

Hmmm. I think I would have looked for her cash and credit cards first. Wink

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Reply #216 - Dec 24^th, 2011 at 1:05pm

Bud Greene Offline
Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...

Gender:
Posts: 480

What do you get if you deep fry Father Christmas?
Crisp Cringle. Cheesy

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Reply #217 - Dec 24^th, 2011 at 1:27pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

AKA Cris P Cringle

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #218 - Dec 24^th, 2011 at 1:29pm

Bud Greene Offline
Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...

Gender:
Posts: 480

Steve M wrote on Dec 24^th, 2011 at 1:27pm:

AKA Cris P Cringle

Not to be confused with his cousin, the crispy Mr. Pringle. Tongue

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Reply #219 - Dec 26^th, 2011 at 10:44pm

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Gender:
Posts: 10589

I thought they already had that....

in the form of potato chips in a can. Roll Eyes

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #220 - Dec 27^th, 2011 at 1:58am

BrandonF Offline
Colonel
The Future of Flight
Location: Earth...Duh!!!!

Gender:
Posts: 2296

Steve M wrote on Dec 22^nd, 2011 at 8:07pm:

Not a one liner but here goes..
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"

Tongue

Since he got the bike, I know what I'm taking, then! Grin

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Reply #221 - Jan 6^th, 2012 at 5:28pm

Bud Greene Offline
Colonel
What's up, doc?
Up, up in the air...

Gender:
Posts: 480

What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaay! Cheesy

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Reply #222 - Jan 6^th, 2012 at 9:25pm

CHUCK79 Offline
Global Moderator
"Good grief"
KOMK

Gender:
Posts: 4998

Bud Greene wrote on Jan 6^th, 2012 at 5:28pm:

What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaay! Cheesy

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds.....and done a hundred things you have never dreamed of.....wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delerious, burning blue I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never Lark, nor even Eagle flew. While with silent lifting of mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of god"

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