Simviation Forum

Mar 19^th, 2011 at 8:47am

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Gender:
Posts: 10589

Tell your corniest jokes here. I'll begin:

What did the rocket scientist say when he came home and found his dog had left a deposit somewhere besides on the paper?

ICBM!

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #1 - Mar 19^th, 2011 at 8:53am

TacitBlue Offline
Colonel
That's right, I have my
own logo.
Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

Gender:
Posts: 5391

I met an elephant from Tuscaloosa. Know how I knew where he was from? Because he had a tusk-a loose-a!

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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Reply #2 - Mar 19^th, 2011 at 9:52am

Groundbound1 Offline
Colonel
No, I don't work for Mythbusters...
Michigan, USA

Gender:
Posts: 1745

Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy used to door.

Specs: Asus Crosshair nForce 590 SLI,
AMD Athlon X2 6400+ w/ZeroTherm BTF90,
4GB G.Skill PI Series DDR2-800,
Sapphire HD4870 512MB,
PC P&C 750 Quad, in a CoolerMaster HAF932

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Reply #3 - Mar 19^th, 2011 at 12:44pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

You're riding a horse full speed.. there's a giraffe beside you.. and you're being chased by a lion .. what do you do ..

get your drunk &ss off the carousel ..

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #4 - Mar 19^th, 2011 at 7:47pm

TacitBlue Offline
Colonel
That's right, I have my
own logo.
Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

Gender:
Posts: 5391

Last year I was on a plane sitting next to a monk and a salesman. It inspired me to think of this joke:

A mechanic, a monk and a salesman are on a plane. The plane loses all engines and it's going down, so they have to jump, but there are only two parachutes. The salesman announces "I have to get to an important meeting!" so he grabs one of the parachutes and jumps out. After that, the monk looks at the mechanic and says "I've lived a full life, a life devoted to God and I know that he has a place for me. You take the last parachute son". The mechanic replied, "no father, we can both go. That salesman just jumped out with my tool bag"

Yes, it's an adaptation of an old one, but it's still corny. Wink

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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Reply #5 - Mar 19^th, 2011 at 11:49pm

U4EA Ex Member

Last year I was wondering why I fell asleep on Good Friday and didn't wake until the following Tuesday.

Eventually figured out that someone slipped me an Ether Bunny!

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Reply #6 - Mar 20^th, 2011 at 8:14am

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Gender:
Posts: 10589

U4EA wrote on Mar 19^th, 2011 at 11:49pm:

Last year I was wondering why I fell asleep on Good Friday and didn't wake until the following Tuesday.

Eventually figured out that someone slipped me an Ether Bunny!

Sorry, that doesn't qualify as corn. That, is funny. Grin

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #7 - Mar 20^th, 2011 at 7:22pm

JSpahn Offline
Colonel
Im too sexy for my hair
Philadelphia,PA

Gender:
Posts: 1808

What kind of bees produce milk.......

boo-bees Cheesy

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Reply #8 - Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 1:23am

Ang2dogs Offline
Colonel
No matter where you go,
there you are.
black mountain hills of Dakota

Gender:
Posts: 848

Horse walks into a bar,

bartender says, why the long face? Smiley

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Reply #9 - Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 6:25am

Skunkworks Offline
Colonel
Frazzle Dazzle!
Central California

Gender:
Posts: 2102

Two bear hunters walking through the woods and one looks down and notices the other has on tennis shoes..."why do you have on tennis shoes" he asks " you can't out run a bear"? to which the other hunter replied..."I don't have to out run the bear I just have to out run you."

FSX, we've come a long way baby! Skunk Works is an official alias for Lockheed Martin’s Advanced Development Programs (ADP), formerly called Lockheed Advanced Development Projects. Skunk Works is responsible for a number of famous aircraft designs, including the U-2, the SR-71 Blackbird, the F-117 Nighthawk, and the F-22 Raptor. Its largest current project is the F-35 Lightning II

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Reply #10 - Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 10:17am

whitley Offline
Colonel
I am not young enough
to know everything
Buckinghamshire UK

Gender:
Posts: 72

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work

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Reply #11 - Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 10:19am

whitley Offline
Colonel
I am not young enough
to know everything
Buckinghamshire UK

Gender:
Posts: 72

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing

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Reply #12 - Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 1:23pm

Tequila Sunrise Offline
Colonel
Nunquam non paratus
Glasgow Scotland

Gender:
Posts: 4149

a dyslexic man walks into a bra...

Craig

If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee

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Reply #13 - Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 6:38pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station..

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #14 - Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 10:45pm

TacitBlue Offline
Colonel
That's right, I have my
own logo.
Saint Joseph, Missouri, USA

Gender:
Posts: 5391

A pirate with a steering wheel in his pants walks into a bar. The bar tender say's "Hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?". The pirate replies "Aye, it's driving me nuts!".

A&P Mechanic, Rankin Aircraft 78Y

Aircraft are naturally beautiful because form follows function. -TB

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