A Poem About Farts

A fart can be quiet,
a fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
poisonous cloud…

A fart can be short,
or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
to sound just like a song…

A fart can create
a most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
or silent, but deadly…

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile…

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
with strange looks on their faces…

From wide open prairie,
to small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later…

But not all farts are bad,
This is simply not true-
We mustn’t forget,
Old farts like you...

Steve M wrote on Feb 6^th, 2011 at 8:04am:


Hell, I was alone on a darn elevator and let one go. I'll be darned if the very next floor a it stopped and picked up an old lady.

After the doors closed and it started moving, she looks at me and says, "It smells like shit in here!"

Thank God the next floor was my floor. I was able to make it out the door before literally falling on the floor laughing my ass off.

A security guard walked by and says, "Farted on the elevator, didn't you?" I told him about the old lady and he even cracked up.

I'm such a naughty person....

ozzy72 wrote on Feb 6^th, 2011 at 3:30pm:


Hey, I'm rather enjoying my slow descent into madness....

This is how I successfully blamed a fart on a cat:

Where I went to trade school, they had a cat that lived in the shop. Once in a while he would do his business in some random place and not in the litter box. So one day I was working on something alone in the shop and I let one rip. Not ten seconds later my instructor (who had a habit of sneaking up on people) appeared right next to me and told me something about what I was working on. After he finished what he was saying he announced "They need to get rid of that cat, this place is starting to stink." To which I replied "oh yeah, that nasty cat!". I don't know how I kept a straight face, but after he left the shop I doubled over laughing.