Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
*01... Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
*02... In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
*03... No one expects you to run--anywhere.
*04... People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
*05... People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
*06... There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
*07... Things you buy now won't wear out.
*08... You can eat supper at 4 pm. 
*09... You can live without sex but not your glasses.
*10... You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
*11... You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
*12... You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
*13... You sing along with elevator music.
*14... Your eyes won't get much worse.
*15... Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
*16... Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
*17... Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
*18... Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

*And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.*

Another one.. 19: You don't give a damn when or where you fart, you're old enough to know no that one can stop you.