Simviation Forum - 25 reasons why I owe my mother

Sep 11^th, 2010 at 3:39am

ozzy72 Offline
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Madsville

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents Like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until your father gets home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your Jersey on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite:

My mother taught me about JUSTICE

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

There are two types of aeroplane, Spitfires and everything else that wishes it was a Spitfire!

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Reply #1 - Sep 11^th, 2010 at 3:53am

Fozzer Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.

Posts: 24861

....

...

...!

Mother knows best:

"10.. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.""

My youngest Son's (now 34) recurring nightmare, but it involved Brussel Sprouts at the time!... Cry

....!

Paul... Grin

...

...!

Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.

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Reply #2 - Sep 11^th, 2010 at 7:43am

Romulus111VADT Offline
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I remember telling my mom in regard to -(#6 "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.") - "Most people would probably soil themselves anyway, so what difference would it make?"

She said I had a valid point.... Wink

I bet I've heard at least 95% of these statements from my mom....lmao

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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Reply #3 - Sep 11^th, 2010 at 8:03pm

CHUCK79 Offline
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"Good grief"
KOMK

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Very funny stuff.....that reminds me, I should call my mom Grin

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds.....and done a hundred things you have never dreamed of.....wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delerious, burning blue I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never Lark, nor even Eagle flew. While with silent lifting of mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of god"

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Reply #4 - Sep 12^th, 2010 at 1:17am

BigTruck Offline
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Former Sergeant of Marines
Tuscaloosa, AL

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I'm about to embark on the experience of being a father....is this the stuff I need to be learning to teach my kid?

http://shitmydadsays.tumblr.com/page/2

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Reply #5 - Sep 12^th, 2010 at 1:31am

patchz Offline
Colonel
What, me worry?
IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

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The one I used the most with Tech Support is #13. Roll Eyes

And just recently, I reminded his sister that I told her #25 a long time ago. Actually, I don't think her two are as bad as she was. Cheesy

Oh yeah, you will probably at some point yell what Socrates' friend did, "YOU DRANK WHAT???" Roll Eyes

I was talking to my Mom on the phone last night and read these to her. She got a big kick out of them.

« Last Edit: Sep 12^th, 2010 at 3:00am by patchz »

If God intended aircraft engines to have horizontally opposed engines, Pratt and Whitney would have made them that way.

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Reply #6 - Sep 13^th, 2010 at 7:13pm

H Offline
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2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
NH, USA

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Posts: 6837

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.."

"So you'll stop telling me I'm growing like a weed?"

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. (According to my Mom, this phrase was administerd to her next oldest sister by my grandfather) "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

She, too, replied, "How can I eat with my mouth shut?"

A similar comment, when I was being picky, my Dad told me, "Eat it... it all goes to the same place!"
I replied, "Have you tasted it after it has!"

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Reply #7 - Sep 16^th, 2010 at 7:26pm

beaky Offline
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Uhhhh.... yup!
Newark, NJ USA

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I have one to add (an actual quote, BTW)...
My mother taught me to respect the abilities of those deemed "disabled" by society:

"A blind, crippled, retarded boy could do a better job of cleaning his room!!"

Roll Eyes

... I sure miss her... Grin

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Reply #8 - Sep 16^th, 2010 at 7:49pm

Steve M Offline
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Cambridge On.

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"You'll go blind if you keep looking at those magazines."

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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