Simviation Forum - A few things you shouldn't say..

Jun 29^th, 2010 at 6:37pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

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Posts: 4097

When pulled over by a cop.

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says, Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with,'Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?'

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #1 - Jun 29^th, 2010 at 7:14pm

B-Valvs Offline
Colonel
Jaggie Police
5B2

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Posts: 5949

Number 10 reminded me of Larry the Cable Guy when he talked about a cop that pulled him over, but was extremely forgetful or had some disability or something:

Cop: "Do I know why I pulled you over?"

Him: "You wanted to give me 20 bucks?"

"That cop pulled me over 10 more times and I made a fortune."

OR

Cop: "Have you been drinking tonight?"

Him:"Why, is there a fat girl in my backseat? Oh no! I must be drunk! THere's 2 of 'em!"

Grin

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Reply #2 - Jun 29^th, 2010 at 7:57pm

Romulus111VADT Offline
Colonel

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Posts: 5521

I heard about a female that when stopped by a HP State Trooper asked him if he was going to give her passes to the policeman's ball. He replied, "Ma'am, State Policeman don't have balls." She went through total hysterical meltdown. Especially as the trooper realized what he'd said and started turning red. Apparently he let her off with a verbal warning as he bid a hasty retreat back to his patrol car and left. He drove by the woman still laying on the front seat laughing her ass off.

I don't know if it's true or not, but it sure is funny story.... Grin

"I have a place where dreams are born, And time is never planned. It’s not on any chart, You must find it with your heart."

Albert Einstein - "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Martin Luther King Jr. - “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.”

Mark Twain - “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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Reply #3 - Jun 29^th, 2010 at 8:17pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

Romulus111VADT wrote on Jun 29^th, 2010 at 7:57pm:

I heard about a female that when stopped by a HP State Trooper asked him if he was going to give her passes to the policeman's ball. He replied, "Ma'am, State Policeman don't have balls." She went through total hysterical meltdown. Especially as the trooper realized what he'd said and started turning red. Apparently he let her off with a verbal warning as he bid a hasty retreat back to his patrol car and left. He drove by the woman still laying on the front seat laughing her ass off.

I don't know if it's true or not, but it sure is funny story.... Grin

Now, that is funny.. Grin

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #4 - Jun 29^th, 2010 at 8:22pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

B-Valvs wrote on Jun 29^th, 2010 at 7:14pm:

Number 10 reminded me of Larry the Cable Guy when he talked about a cop that pulled him over, but was extremely forgetful or had some disability or something:

Cop: "Do I know why I pulled you over?"

Him: "You wanted to give me 20 bucks?"

"That cop pulled me over 10 more times and I made a fortune."

OR

Cop: "Have you been drinking tonight?"

Him:"Why, is there a fat girl in my backseat? Oh no! I must be drunk! THere's 2 of 'em!"

Grin

I loved that movie! Two more here...

You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . !

Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #5 - Jun 29^th, 2010 at 8:55pm

ApplePie Offline
Colonel
North Carolina, USA

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Posts: 2143

#7, don't they need a warrant to search your trunk? Huh

MY SPECS= 5' 11" Slightly less than healthy male, 160 lbs., Brown eyes........Oh...you were wondering about my computers specs.....

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Reply #6 - Jun 29^th, 2010 at 9:07pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

ApplePie wrote on Jun 29^th, 2010 at 8:55pm:

#7, don't they need a warrant to search your trunk? Huh

Only probable cause.. Wink

Currently our homes are the only private bastions left. Currently I said.

Here's two more for you.

You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me.

In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #7 - Jun 29^th, 2010 at 11:54pm

BoeingGuy Ex Member

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Reply #8 - Jun 30^th, 2010 at 3:12am

a1 Offline
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Tied In A Knot I Am

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A thread of laughter. Grin

790i : QX9650 : 4Gb DDR3 : GeForce 8800 GTX : 1 WD Raptor : 1 WD VelociRaptor 150

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Reply #9 - Jun 30^th, 2010 at 10:46am

Fozzer Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.

Posts: 24861

Steve M wrote on Jun 29^th, 2010 at 9:07pm:

ApplePie wrote on Jun 29^th, 2010 at 8:55pm:

#7, don't they need a warrant to search your trunk? Huh

Only probable cause.. Wink

Currently our homes are the only private bastions left. Currently I said.

Here's two more for you.

You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me.

In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?

....

...

...!

"Probable Cause"

The Coppers two favourite words, which they then assume gives them the Legal right to do anything they want.... Shocked

....!

I see it used on the Tele' films all the time...CSI, etc....

I don't know if that Legal loophole exists over here?....

....probably does.....or something equivalent!

Coppers mostly annoy me!... Angry

...!

Paul...."If you so wish, Your Honour...".... Wink

....

....!

Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
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Reply #10 - Jun 30^th, 2010 at 10:11pm

Steve M Offline
Colonel
Cambridge On.

Gender:
Posts: 4097

Fozzer wrote on Jun 30^th, 2010 at 10:46am:

Steve M wrote on Jun 29^th, 2010 at 9:07pm:

ApplePie wrote on Jun 29^th, 2010 at 8:55pm:

#7, don't they need a warrant to search your trunk? Huh

Only probable cause.. Wink

Currently our homes are the only private bastions left. Currently I said.

Here's two more for you.

You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me.

In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?

....

...

...!

"Probable Cause"

The Coppers two favourite words, which they then assume gives them the Legal right to do anything they want.... Shocked

....!

I see it used on the Tele' films all the time...CSI, etc....

I don't know if that Legal loophole exists over here?....

....probably does.....or something equivalent!

Coppers mostly annoy me!... Angry

...!

Paul...."If you so wish, Your Honour...".... Wink

....

....!

Probable cause.. Sad

Origen year 1670.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/probable+cause
Those Coppers are just out looking for trouble. Grin

Flying with twins is a lot of fun..

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Reply #11 - Jul 1^st, 2010 at 12:22am

Capt.Propwash Offline
Colonel
Let's get a little mud
on the tires!
KCHS, Charleston, SC, USA

Gender:
Posts: 1958

Probable Cause: if the cops think you did something, or are trying to intentionally hide something, you're either getting a ticket, or going to jail.

Cop: "do you mind if i search your trunk?"

Person: "Only if i can rummage through yours and not put stuff back where you had it." Cool

The thoughts and expressions contained in the post above are solely my own, and not necessarily those of Simviation.com, its Moderators, its Staff, its Members, or other guests. They can not, are not, and will not be held liable for any thoughts, or expressions, or posts that I have made, or will make in the future.

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Reply #12 - Jul 1^st, 2010 at 4:15am

expat Offline
Colonel
Deep behind enemy lines!

Gender:
Posts: 8499

"Can I search your trunk"
"Depends how stong your stomach is" or "Only if you have a face mask and some menthol"

Matt

PETA People Eating Tasty Animals.

B1 Boeing 737-800 and Dash8 Q-400

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Reply #13 - Jul 1^st, 2010 at 4:48am

Fozzer Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.

Posts: 24861

Steve M wrote on Jun 30^th, 2010 at 10:11pm:

Probable cause.. Sad

Origen year 1670.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/probable+cause
Those Coppers are just out looking for trouble. Grin

"Probable cause

–noun Law .
reasonable ground for a belief, as, in a criminal case, that the accused was guilty of the crime, or, in a civil case, that grounds for the action existed: used esp. as a defence to an action for malicious prosecution."

Has anyone ever encountered a "reasonable" Copper yet?

Now that that would be an unusual, and wonderful find!... Smiley

...!

I think they join the Police Force just to give them the legal opportunity to give we lowly minnions as much grief as possible...
...its a "Power and Control" thing!... Wink

...!

Paul...I hear sirens approaching!... Shocked

....

....!

I enjoy being illegal, at times!... Smiley

...!

« Last Edit: Jul 1^st, 2010 at 8:37am by Fozzer »

Dell Dimension 5000 BTX Tower. Win7 Home Edition, 32 Bit. Intel Pentium 4, dual 2.8 GHz. 2.5GB RAM, nVidia GF 9500GT 1GB. SATA 500GB + 80GB. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Micronet ADSL Modem only. Saitek Cyborg Evo Force. FS 2004 + FSX. Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower...Motor Bikes. Gas Cooker... and lots of musical instruments!.... ...!
Yamaha MO6,MM6,DX7,DX11,DX21,DX100,MK100,EMT10,PSR400,PSS780,Roland GW-8L v2,TR505,Casio MT-205,Korg CX3v2 dual manual,+ Leslie 760,M-Audio Prokeys88,KeyRig,Cubase,Keyfax4,Guitars,Orchestral,Baroque,Renaissance,Medieval Instruments.

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