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Things you really don't want to hear on a flight (Read 1678 times)
Jan 9th, 2010 at 11:11pm

Mitch.   Offline
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If you don't like my driving,
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Things you really don't want to hear on a flight:

1. This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as flotation devices.



2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of penauts.



3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close-up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that its all part of our airlines new commitment to making your flight a sightseeing extravaganza.



4. Goose! Bogey at two o'clock.....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!



5. I'm sure everyone noticed the loss of an engine; however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now.



6. Fasten your seatbelts (Said in the same tone your friend with suicidial driving tendencies uses when you get in the car)



7. It would be a good idea if everyone now closed their window shades and watched the in-flight movie.



8. Don't worry! That one is always on 'Empty'...



Cool

 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
...
^^^ Click above to check out MySimshots.net  ^^^
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Reply #1 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 8:56am

Groundbound1   Offline
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No, I don't work for Mythbusters...
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How about, "Ok everyone fasten your seatbelts, I'm gonna try something. I saw it in a cartoon, but I'm pretty sure it'll work!"
« Last Edit: Jan 16th, 2010 at 7:44pm by Groundbound1 »  
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...
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Reply #2 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 9:06am

aussiewannabe   Offline
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Directive!

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From Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa -

This is your captain speaking. I have some good news and bad news.
The good news is: we’ll be landing immediately.
The bad news is: we’re crashlanding!
 
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...
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Reply #3 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 10:08am

skoker   Offline
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Jordan never wore his
safety goggles...
1G3

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Their is absolutly nothing to worry about... Grin
 

...
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Reply #4 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 10:10am

Leigh   Offline
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"Its not the destination
its the journey."
somewhere over the rainbow

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everything is ao......OMG WHAT THE F$#$ JUS...................
 
...
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Reply #5 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 11:32am

Steve M   Offline
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Cambridge On.

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"Prepare for impact."


"OMG, look at all the pretty birds!"


"Damn it folks.. would you believe the head office just fired the whole cockpit crew.."


Smiley
 
...
Flying with twins is a lot of fun..
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Reply #6 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 12:54pm
NNNG   Ex Member

 
"The wing is NOT on fire".
 
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Reply #7 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 1:14pm

Rich H   Offline
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Sweden Jamboree 2011!
Solihull, U.K.

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It'd be interesting being a passenger with these two pilots.  Undecided
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGAR75rgykM
 
...

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Reply #8 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 7:25pm

Capt.Propwash   Offline
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Let's get a little mud
on the tires!
KCHS, Charleston, SC, USA

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http://micom.net/oops/PilotGuns.mp3


my favorite.
 
The thoughts and expressions contained in the post above are solely my own, and not necessarily those of Simviation.com, its Moderators, its Staff, its Members, or other guests. They can not, are not, and will not be held liable for any thoughts, or expressions, or posts that I have made, or will make in the future.

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Reply #9 - Jan 10th, 2010 at 8:41pm

Mitch.   Offline
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Grin Grin

I'm sure there are hundreds more. Cool
 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
...
^^^ Click above to check out MySimshots.net  ^^^
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Reply #10 - Jan 11th, 2010 at 11:50am

Souichiro   Offline
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Ladies an Gentlemen....Welcome aboard ths Ryanair flight to......
 
...
&&
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Reply #11 - Jan 11th, 2010 at 11:57am

Fozzer   Offline
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An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.

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"Ladies and Gentlemen....

Not to worry....

Apparently, there is Fuel available at the next Airfield"..... Smiley...!

Paul.... Grin...!
 
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Reply #12 - Jan 11th, 2010 at 12:36pm

expat   Offline
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Deep behind enemy lines!

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Ladies and Gentleman, if the trolley dolly is passing by, could you tell them the cockpit needs a hair of the dog Grin

Matt
 
PETA ... People Eating Tasty Animals.

B1 Boeing 737-800 and Dash8 Q-400
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Reply #13 - Jan 12th, 2010 at 3:46pm

H   Offline
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2003: the year NH couldn't
save face...
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Quote:
2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of penauts.
Are penauts urological nanobots that go upstream you-know-where?



Cool
 
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Reply #14 - Jan 12th, 2010 at 11:44pm
BoeingGuy   Ex Member

 
Here's something you wanna to hear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reRRgEET6Kw


Cool

EDIT: Sorry for posting the YouTube link, I just saw the notification at the top of the form.
« Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2010 at 8:30am by N/A »  
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Reply #15 - Jan 16th, 2010 at 1:38am

Mazza   Offline
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:D
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Don't worry about youtube links  Grin
 
Sunset Chasing...RULES

...
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Reply #16 - Jan 16th, 2010 at 12:57pm

lunitic_8   Offline
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FSX+REX= OMG!!!! :o
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Mazza wrote on Jan 16th, 2010 at 1:38am:
Don't worry about youtube links  Grin

Roll Eyes Grin Grin we all do it  Lips Sealed
 
...

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By the way... the name is Chad Tongue
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Reply #17 - Jan 17th, 2010 at 1:03pm

OVERLORD_CHRIS   Offline
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"OH MY GOD THE BLINKING RED LIGHT IS ON!!!......oh wait its the inter comm light..ha ha ha ha".
 
...
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Reply #18 - Jan 17th, 2010 at 1:17pm

a1   Offline
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Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
 
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Reply #19 - Jan 19th, 2010 at 3:44am
BoeingGuy   Ex Member

 
(voice sounds like the flight attended that just serviced you) "...just raise you hand if you have any flight experience at all..."


"Don't worry, we missed him by at least 1 foot"


"Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll please look to the left of the plane..."
...
 
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Reply #20 - Jan 19th, 2010 at 8:26am

Shavron117   Offline
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If its in the air, a crewchief
put it there!
Silvis, Illinois, USA

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Damn visibility is zero....hey! What's that mountain goat doing in a fogbank?
 
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Reply #21 - Jan 19th, 2010 at 10:33am

Fozzer   Offline
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An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.

Posts: 24861
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"Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Captain speaking"

"Let us all sing together..."Nearer, my God, to thee".

"All together, after me...".... http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/n/m/nmgtthee.htm

Paul...Wink... Grin... Grin...!

"Amen".... Wink...!
 
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Reply #22 - Jan 21st, 2010 at 1:28pm

Al_Fallujah   Ex Member

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Cannot find a link, probably still copywrited,

Gary Larson of Far Side fame had a great Sunday strip of maniacal pilots announcing turbulence, and then rocking the wings side to side.
 
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Reply #23 - Jan 25th, 2010 at 2:49pm

Al_Fallujah   Ex Member

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Fozzer wrote on Jan 19th, 2010 at 10:33am:
"Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Captain speaking"

"Let us all sing together..."Nearer, my God, to thee".

"All together, after me...".... http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/n/m/nmgtthee.htm

Paul...Wink... Grin... Grin...!

"Amen".... Wink...!


And the band played on...
 
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Reply #24 - Jan 25th, 2010 at 4:01pm

Fozzer   Offline
Colonel
An elderly FS 2004 addict!
Hereford. England. EGBS.

Posts: 24861
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Quote:
Fozzer wrote on Jan 19th, 2010 at 10:33am:
"Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Captain speaking"

"Let us all sing together..."Nearer, my God, to thee".

"All together, after me...".... http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/n/m/nmgtthee.htm

Paul...Wink... Grin... Grin...!

"Amen".... Wink...!


And the band played on...


I love playing all those old Hymns on my Organs, Pianos and Keyboards... Smiley....

...but not in a Jumbo 747....

...at forty thousand feet....

...with four engines out!... Wink....!

Paul...Quick...the last verse...before we crash!... Shocked....!

.... Grin....!
 
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