(716): i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

(347): alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

(419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

(713): on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left

(310): Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

(619): i miss you so much
(858): i miss you too
(858): oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me


...and my favourite!

(414): i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome